Trash Talking for the Difficult to Use Pen Contest

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I'm just giving others a chance so that their best isn't so comparatively weak. I'll need a bigger shop to store all three trash talk prizes and the Difficult to Write With winning prize.

I agree, though, that Brad G shouldn't have done that. Shame on you, Brad G!
 
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Well I may have messed up the name but didn't change it after the fact Brian. ;) I'll live with my mistakes not unlike your poor mom having to face the world with you in tow. The Pin Head Kid. Your pen is a natural extension of you. Inevitable. People voting for you are doing it out of pity and nothing more. ;)
 
I am pretty bad at trash talking, but you guys are pretty pathetic. One good Yo Momma! would take you all out. So here goes


Yo Momma!
 
{Cody slipped his comment in as I was typing. This was for Curly, but applies equally} You devolved to "your Momma" trash talk? Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. . . Sorry to burst your bubble. That's worse than my chicanery. She raised me to have stick-to-itiveness, to always have a point, and to keep my sharp wits about me. It shows in my entry.

Dad, well, he was mostly responsible for influencing my #2 entry that was disqualified. When I told him what happened, he just shook his head and muttered something about those wimpy city folk just can't take a little crap now and then.

Back on the farm we used rose canes as combs and back scratchers. Congratulations on making a three purpose writing instrument, neither of which has any degree of difficulty. Just don't lend it to a doctor, lest he confuse it with a thermometer.
 
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You kids play nice while I go finish the winning pen stand.
 
Be nice to Brian, guys:). He just won a gift certificate at the easiest contest in the bash and then he gets all cocky :eek:. He can't help it if he's a little out of control...
 
Brian G said:
I received word from the Contest Chair that my #2 Pen entry was so VILE and difficult to write with, it was disqualified. If you want to know what it was, it will have to be revealed outside the confines of IAP.

I should be declared winner by default! :biggrin:

I see a few more good tries were added to the queue. After I complete serving the major penalty for my transgression, I shall return from the penalty box to thoroughly thrash the rest of the also rans.
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IS THAT ALSO THE WAY YOU GOT SUCH A PRETTY VALENTINE?
 
We interrupt this Trash Talking for a
Public Service Announcement!

Nominations for the best (or maybe worst) piece of trash talking are to be emailed to IAPTrashTalk@gmail.com. Nominations will be accepted from the moment the first contest photo is posted, until the winners of the Difficult To Write With Pen Contest are announced. One nomination per member. A nomination will consist of no more than the text contained in one post of the Trash Talking thread. All nominated Trash Talk will be posted in a poll on Thursday February 18, 2016. The poll will remain open for 72 hours.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Trash Talk.


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While waiting for the glue I have been [strike]sniffing[/strike] using to make the winning pen stand entry. . . .

Doug, I'm still bitter about not getting credit for the other correct answer for February 4 trivia. :curse: You're just in the way of a sweep. Step aside.

Wayne, she got me as a throw in when she won an Ebay bid for a case of Turtle Wax. When she found out turtles swim just fine without needing to be waxed, she returned the case, but was stuck with me. I got the better of that deal.

Mike, no need to have a poll. You can just use the number of nominations for my top three most excellent postings. The tally will be the same.
 
Brian, I heard she just felt sorry for you and was going to keep you for a pet. Then the county came along and said she couldn't keep you out side.......You were scaring all the neighborhood dogs with howling at at the full moon. So she brought in a trainer and you were house broken.
After the first child......you were just broke. But by then she had gotten use to you.

I really don't understand how you got so lucky.
 
Brian, Brian, Brian.

You think your pen is tough? It will likely just give you a little tickle compared to my pen. :giggle:

Ever have frostbite? This it what happens when you use my pen:eek::eek::eek::eek:


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That is one turner out of the hobby.

Doug, that is sick........at least you could have found something that didn't have to scare the crap out of the turners. BTW Have you ever seen a one handed turner?
 
I really should have explained why I said what I said...........I am eating supper and going through the IAP at the same time.
At least a warning so I wouldn't have a mouth full of something to spit over the screen.
YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO CLEAN THE KEYBOARD?


Keep smiling.
 
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stonepecker said:
Brian,

I really don't understand how you got so lucky.
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Wayne, when I said the same to her, I swear I heard her eyes roll. She suggested something unkind that that I could do with my banished #2 pen entry....along the lines of putting it back from whence it came.

Doug, back on the farm we'd douse it with teat dip, wrap it in burlap, learn to use the other hand, and get on with chores. Trifling flesh wound, nothing more.
 
It's easy to mistake it for one made by the master pen makers, isn't it?

Oh, sorry, pardon me, you wouldn't know what that's like.
 
I guess I am now fair game to be Trash Talked about. Due to a mistake on my part (left a pen out, no Brian, I'm not talking about your piece of ............ whatever) I've had the poll closed. I'll post a new poll tomorrow and voting will start all over again.
 
mbroberg said:
I guess I am now fair game to be Trash Talked about. Due to a mistake on my part (left a pen out, no Brian, I'm not talking about your piece of ............ whatever) I've had the poll closed. I'll post a new poll tomorrow and voting will start all over again.
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Stuff happens Mike - don't sweat the small stuff.
Both contests have been lots of fun! Thanks for hosting them.
 
Now you have to write with that trap pen as punishment Mike. ;) You're lucky it's not a rat trap. :)

I actually don't give a rats assumption if I win a prize or not. I entered to have fun and I've had lots. :) It's that BrainG ;) guy that's going to cry a lot when he's the looser though. Pinney needs a win to feel like a somebody.
 
Mike, you were the sole person lucky enough to enjoy the grandeur of the #2 Pen entry, you've suffered enough, and get a pass.

To continue so it doesn't feel left out even worse:

Paper Trap If I owned you, which I do, now, it would be the only way I'd give a rat's adze. You could join forces with Security Pen and go for a long, skinny dip. Speaking of dip, only a dip would re-set you for writing the next letter. No brain, get pain. You'd make a good option for ol' Knuckles a few posts up.
 
BrainG? Takes me back to grade school and every Valentine I ever received. "Dear Brain, be my Valentine. Signed, some kid that missed a few spelling lessons."

Churly doeth protest too much.

Remember, though, the first rule of Trash Talk is nobody talks about what goes on in Trash Talk. The second rule is that what happens in Trash Talk, stays in Trash Talk.
 
mbroberg said:
I guess I am now fair game to be Trash Talked about. Due to a mistake on my part (left a pen out, no Brian, I'm not talking about your piece of ............ whatever) I've had the poll closed. I'll post a new poll tomorrow and voting will start all over again.
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Are we getting a Florida style recount? Someone check his pockets...They are probably full of Pecans. :eek: :rolleyes: :eek:
 
Curly said:
Pinney you remind me of a little doggy. Yap! Yap! Pen! Yap! Yap! Yap! And like a little dog, everyone loves them.
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I see, and that's evident in your 0.90 posts per day versus my 0.67 posts per day. Never let the facts interfere with a good story, right?

To paraphrase the great philosopher, Homer, "You couldn't fool anybody on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
 
WELL THAT WAS STANDARD. Use the red ones first. Then use a white one to see if needed another red one.



edohmann said:
firewhatfire said:
You have red and white cobs?

edohmann said:
Curly said:
Don't give him any ideas. You could end up with a pen from an outhouse seat. Talk about hard to hold!
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Nah!

When I was a little kid, we always looked forward to getting the new Sears & Roebuck catalog because that meant we could take the old one to the outhouse & could quit using corn cobs for a while. Now one of those things really would make a tough pen to hold.
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We had mostly white ones, but some were red. That was a long time ago - we moved off that farm & bought a country store in 1962. Now I just grow pecans.
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Geeeee........................
It's mighty quiet in here. Did everyone run out of things to say?
 
I am so very happy that I went back and checked on the votes.
Just now realized that Mike erased my votes and I had to do it all over again.

Be sure to go and vote for the most "painful pen" you can find. This isn't a little pen contest.
And just throwing extra parts to one you couldn't sell isn't going to win either.
Check them out and see which one has some thought into it.
 
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