The Ugly Pen Contest

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Greg O'Sherwood said:
First off -
Like every entry in this thread, the entry of this pen into the contest is in jest, however this one may be presumed to be more in jest than the others and will be pulled at the slightest objection.:eek:

I have read tons of Brian's posts, so I am pretty confidant that he will take this as it is meant, as I hope you all do!

Without further ado, my entry:

Gregory of HopeIDon'tGetBanned Forest
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:bananen_smilies008:That looks like one FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE looking pen to me!!!!:bananen_smilies008:

I must say Greg, I am quite flattered!
 
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maxwell_smart007 said:
One clear winner so far - the Blown Chunks pen! :biggrin:

Let's see if anyone can top it!
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Andrew, if I could cast some of my wife's cooking after she watches every stupid show on the cooking network, Oh never mind it all looks like the Puke pen any way, I guess that would be my vote, it probably would taste better as well.:frown:
 
Greg O'Sherwood said:
First off -
Like every entry in this thread, the entry of this pen into the contest is in jest, however this one may be presumed to be more in jest than the others and will be pulled at the slightest objection.:eek:

I have read tons of Brian's posts, so I am pretty confidant that he will take this as it is meant, as I hope you all do!

Without further ado, my entry, a custom bullet pen - it didn't quite turn out as I planned:

Gregory of HopeIDon'tGetBanned Forest
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and I thought the blowing chunks pen was Ugly, man it was gorgeous in comparison to this monster piece
 
Greg O'Sherwood said:
Without further ado, my entry, a custom bullet pen - it didn't quite turn out as I planned:

Gregory of HopeIDon'tGetBanned Forest
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Do you do quantity discounts? I would like to place an order to set up a
fake penturner next to my booth at the next show.. :tongue:
 
You all knew it was coming!

Well here it is! I was dared to make it and most thought I wouldn't! Just goes to show how dedicated to the art of creating fine writing instruments some of us are! Introducing......































Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

Cats1.jpg


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And for those brave souls, here is a close up:
Cats3.jpg


Closed end, one piece, tubeless cigar pen. Yes it writes and takes a standard parker style refill that is easily replaced! Actually, my wife loves how it writes! And yes, it is completely encased in Alumilite so none of the Alternative material is on the surface!

Scott, I know you said you did not want to see a whole string of ca ca pens so if you choose to DQ this one, that is fine! I just HAD to do it!
 
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Well, like the other pen, I'd like to buy one of these too. Could I get you to turn if for me too? I'm not to good with the blanks. I'm sure yours would look a lot B E T T E R than mine.


Make that two, I need two. One for the ex... One for the Boss.
 
Yuck

Not that it compares to Curtis' new pen but I manged to destroy a perfectly fine blank on this one.
 

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Pen Maker said:
Well, like the other pen, I'd like to buy one of these too. Could I get you to turn if for me too? I'm not to good with the blanks. I'm sure yours would look a lot B E T T E R than mine.
Make that two, I need two. One for the ex... One for the Boss.
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Great idea. I'd buy a couple.

Curtis?
 
Curtis,

I don't know which surprises me more:

The fact that you turned it.​

OR​

That your put TurnTex on the photo.​

Thanks for taking the dare.
 
sparhawk said:
Well i started out to make a keepsake pen out of my daughters hair(kinda like putting it in a scrapbook from thier first haircut) but after an hour of fighting the ca, hair, tools, wood chips, and everything else that could and would stick to me and the pen, I gave up.:frown: Told my daughter to use it at work handing to people who needed a pen to sign thier credit card slips.:) Niether her or my wife will touch it.:mad:So i guess it ends up here.:biggrin: Hope you enjoy. View attachment 6603

View attachment 6604
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What do you feed that thing?
 
I am not worthy to compete with the Cat-gar?, the turd-line? But I got to say. I like the way you made the pen look like it was pinched off just right.
 
Aaahhhhh! The smell of a finely turned pen! Nothing better! ;-)

Since I obviously have no objection to the pen Curtis gave life to, lets adjust the rules a little bit to say if you feel you have to enter a ca-ca pen, try to do one that improves on the Curtis Cat-Poo Pen in some way! Since that will be hard to do, it should limit the amount of feces laying around this place!

And you other guys shouldn't worry. The other pens I'm seeing around here are perfectly ugly! Contenders, every one! I'm starting to have nightmares about them! (Which is as it should be!) Keep them coming. We have lots of prizes to give away - no one person is going to get them all!

I kind of like that Nerd pen! Kind of makes me want to throw-up some candy!

Scott.
 
Curtis,

You posted that in the wrong forum. It isn't ugly enough to be in here. Please cross post it to the Freestyle competition.

GK
ps You're twisted, my friend. Wayyyy talented, but twisted.
 
Scott said:
Aaahhhhh! The smell of a finely turned pen! Nothing better! ;-)

Since I obviously have no objection to the pen Curtis gave life to, lets adjust the rules a little bit to say if you feel you have to enter a ca-ca pen, try to do one that improves on the Curtis Cat-Poo Pen in some way!
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?? Like .. what, fresh squeezed or something? :confused:
 
This blank seemed a little soft when I drilled it. While I was turning it, it became the consistancy of chewing gum. :eek:

I set it in my cabinet, with the intention of turning it off to save the tubes. After a few days of below freezing temperatures (very few, remember, I live in Alabama) in my garage, I noticed it had cracked apart. :cool:

Thus, this ugly pen was born. The pictures look better than the actual pen. :wink:
 

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Entry for my son, Zachary

My 11 year old son and I took a pen turning class at Woodcraft in San Antonio just after New Years. The entry is technically his second pen but the first one that he did entirely on his own (with the exception of cutting the blank on the bandsaw). On his first pen, he was having a hard time making smooth cuts and wound up with a very rough, wavy blank, so I did the finish turning on his first pen. On his second one, I decided I would let him do the whole thing by himself just to see how it worked out. He was doing really well and had a nice round, smooth blank...until the very end. I stopped watching him and went to work on my own pen and when I turned around, this was the result...he had turned the center of the blank down smaller than the ends so when it came time to cut the tenon for the center band, the blank is smaller diameter than the hardware. I also took some photos trying to highlight the very rough surface he left behind. I think he just got impatient and was rushing trying to finish his pen.

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MyKidsDad said:
My 11 year old son and I took a pen turning class at Woodcraft in San Antonio just after New Years. The entry is technically his second pen but the first one that he did entirely on his own (with the exception of cutting the blank on the bandsaw). On his first pen, he was having a hard time making smooth cuts and wound up with a very rough, wavy blank, so I did the finish turning on his first pen. On his second one, I decided I would let him do the whole thing by himself just to see how it worked out. He was doing really well and had a nice round, smooth blank...until the very end. I stopped watching him and went to work on my own pen and when I turned around, this was the result...he had turned the center of the blank down smaller than the ends so when it came time to cut the tenon for the center band, the blank is smaller diameter than the hardware. I also took some photos trying to highlight the very rough surface he left behind. I think he just got impatient and was rushing trying to finish his pen.

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I have to be honest and say it is ugly, but not because of the work. Other than the finish, I think he did a great job on this. For 11 years old and his first one on his own? Great job buddy.
 
USAFVET98 said:
I have to be honest and say it is ugly, but not because of the work. Other than the finish, I think he did a great job on this. For 11 years old and his first one on his own? Great job buddy.
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Oh, I think he did a great job too and I am awfully proud of him for trying this. He is sticking with it and has been practicing his technique at home for the last several weeks and is getting better.

He entered another ugly pen contest a few weeks ago. To be honest, it was a tense moment when I went to him and asked him if he was interested in entering his pen in an ugly pen contest...didn't know how he'd react or if he'd think I was calling his pen ugly. I showed him what the prizes were and he quickly got over any concern about his pen being ugly. When I told him there was another ugly pen contest he jumped at the opportunity to enter again.

By the way, some friend of his at school must not have thought it was too ugly either. He was taking it to school every once in a while and it turned up missing one day. He's pretty sure one of his "friends" swiped it out of his desk.
 
Some of you should be ashamed and embarrassed for showing us these disgusting but fun lumps of junk:biggrin:

One word of warning!!!! Don't browse through the topic just before dinner time!!!:eek:
 
I've been working on this pen for two years. At the end of each day when I come in from the shop, I clean out my ears - mostly just ear wax, but some sawdust always seems to work its way in. Anyway, I have been saving this in a jar and I now have enough to make this pen.

EDIT - the second photo shows the refill extended and ready to write. Would anybody care to give it a try? Maybe see how the pen balances in your hand?
 

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he[COLOR=Red said:
wunch[/COLOR];804320]This pic makes me sick just looking at it. Seriously, I have blown chunks that looked exactly like that.

uglypen011.jpg
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[/quote]


After several readings, it appears he is saying:

He pulled these chunks out of HEWUNCH box!!!!


(Apologies to Elmer Fudd!)
 
/quote After several readings, it appears he is saying:
He pulled these chunks out of HEWUNCH box!!!! /quote

Ha ha. Vewy punny.
 
After several readings, it appears he is saying:

He pulled these chunks out of HEWUNCH box!!!!


(Apologies to Elmer Fudd!)[/quote]


This thing is truly hideous! lol. Everytime I look at it, I want to throw up just to have something better to look at.
On a lighter note, I have enough for only 3 more blanks so get them while there hot. LOL:biggrin:
 
MikeMcM1956 said:
Here's my two, I think they were the third and fourth pens I made. I thought I was being 'creative', looking at them now I don't know what I was thinking. Outside of the general ugliness, they are undersized/oversized at the tips and bands. They were also made from some cr*ppy kits from R*ckler that were so loose that they had to be held together with CA.

The first one now kind of strikes me as looking like a snake that just ate a gopher, the second looks like one gopher just wasn't filling enough. I had to leave the clip off of this tubbo:
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My eyeball just threw up a little! That stings. One good thing, I dont have to see these pens anymore!..
 
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