The Ugly Pen Contest

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Doesn't compete with some of the above, but I think it's pretty ugly...





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Here's one of my entries. I think this will qualify as an "unusual" pen material. I was in an orange & black contest, so I thought I would try something different Carrot. I really did cut this to length on the chop saw, drilled it with the DP, used CA for the tubes, turned it on the lathe using my gouge and skew, sanded as normal and did a CA finish. One thing I learned is that carrots have a lot of liquid in them and CA doesn't bond to it much at all.


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Carrot on black Chrome Carbara
 
Heh. I tried to dry some carrot out to turn and it checked like a mutha. I figured when I win the lotto and can afford the stuff to cast my own blanks I'll do a carrot with grated carrots.
 
Here is my second entry and this one is the winner! It is BUTT UGLY!!!!!
I was challenged to make it, and I rushed to do it. I have another one in the works that will be much nicer. I have a lot of firsts in this pen - first antler, first casing, first scrimshaw feather and band.

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Antler, casing dip pen
 
Wow Dawn,
Rarely have I seen a pen that takes so much skill to make a pen so ugly!:eek:

That thing has an appearance not even a hunter could love...or a mother hunter...or a hunter mother...or a buck huntin' mother...

errr... you get the picture.

Gregory of HoofInMouth Forest
 
Well, here's my first entry. I now know purpleheart and mulberry do not work well together, waste of a perfectly good navigator!
 

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Alright I got one

My wife mentions this pen EVERY time I think I have a good new idea.....It was a concept that went horribly wrong.

The concept was a closed end pen that had multiple contrasting woods laminated at different angles.....except I made the pen WAY too long and it's more like a baton or a wand or something....I think it's around 8-9" long:tongue::tongue::tongue:

My wife fondly refers to this pen as "the ugly one". It's yellowheart laminated with bloodwood and purpleheart. I call it the bloody heart pen!!!!
 

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Brian,

Self defense and writing instrument all in one inconvenient package you should make a matching pair then you would have something to use in cane fights.
 
I present to you " Picasso unleashed". This is the finest French manufactured click pen styled after a panel of Italian pen engineers and molded from industrial strength plastic from Southern china. Only one child was forced into labour to construct this masterpiece, and only the finest quality and most vibrant washable markers were used for the detailed artistry. Should anyone be so inspired by this pen that they wish to own it, then please send $3,000 to :

Dewey Cheatum & How
1234 Nosmoking Drive
Effinham, IL
55515
 

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My wife made this one, I swear!

This was her first confetti acrylic, which apparently are made of a much harder material than the other acrylics. She didn't feel like turning it anymore, so I sanded it down and here was what was left.

We listed it for sale for $10 and it didn't sell. We decided to put it back on the lathe and turn it down some more, and she again got sick of turning it and it's not much better now. It's still for sale. And still $10.

The first two pics are of the 'original', and the 'revised' version is the one with the blue background. Imagine, even with the fancy background, it's still not selling!!!:tongue::eek:
 

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2nd entry

Well Dawn brought the carrots and Brian brought the noodles, so i brought the..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Pulled Pork Patriot..........................meatpen1.JPG

meatpen2.JPG A word to the wise-Pulled pork does not cast well!And also keep it in the freezer.:rolleyes:
 
You really need some saucy red streaks mixed in with the pork.

Maybe you could make a perfume applicator with that blank and use liquid smoke as the scent.
 
Well Dawn brought the carrots and Brian brought the noodles, so i brought the..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Pulled Pork Patriot..........................View attachment 6760

View attachment 6761 A word to the wise-Pulled pork does not cast well!And also keep it in the freezer.:rolleyes:

Well, I bet it smelled great while you were turning it. :bulgy-eyes:
 
Yeah its a fake (So moderator don't count that one). But I could do one as a label cast. Just wanted to get a rise out of you guys. The plug pen is absolutely real though.
 
LOML's ugly pen(with her permission)

I told my LOML about the contests this month and she said I could enter her first and only pen made. That means this is an original limited edition. It is functional and sits on my desk. Enjoy. I will send her the link on her computer... no worries, she is a great sport and very supportive of my hobby. Thanks for looking.
 

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Here's my two, I think they were the third and fourth pens I made. I thought I was being 'creative', looking at them now I don't know what I was thinking. Outside of the general ugliness, they are undersized/oversized at the tips and bands. They were also made from some cr*ppy kits from R*ckler that were so loose that they had to be held together with CA.

The first one now kind of strikes me as looking like a snake that just ate a gopher, the second looks like one gopher just wasn't filling enough. I had to leave the clip off of this tubbo:
 

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Well, here's my first entry. I now know purpleheart and mulberry do not work well together, waste of a perfectly good navigator!

Now if only those crazy LSU fans could get it through their thick skull that those colors don't work well together :):frown::):frown: :biggrin:
 
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My only entry ( I apologize up front if this ruffles feathers!)

First off -
Like every entry in this thread, the entry of this pen into the contest is in jest, however this one may be presumed to be more in jest than the others and will be pulled at the slightest objection.:eek:

I have read tons of Brian's posts, so I am pretty confidant that he will take this as it is meant, as I hope you all do!

Without further ado, my entry, a custom bullet pen - it didn't quite turn out as I planned:

Gregory of HopeIDon'tGetBanned Forest
 

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