I have enjoyed following this thread. There have been diverse opinions, but the overall tenor of the discussion has been civil.
Coincidentally enough, I had a discussion with a vendor, one of those mom and pop places that are supposedly extinct, about shipping charges. Between us, we came to the conclusion that a flat rate for shipping was the easiest way to simplify his site. Most people buy enough that the flat rate is pretty close to break even on shipping. A few will only buy a kit or two and the shipping will be a tiny profit center. Another small segment of the clientèle will buy enough that there will be a slight loss on shipping. Over the course of time, it likely will level out and be a wash, expense-wise.
One of the benefits of a mom and pop business is the personal service. However, as has been pointed out, one has to ask for the personal service; it does not magically appear. A small organization is more likely to be receptive of a request than a large one. For example, when I needed a small replacement part for one of my Grizzly power tools, the part was only a couple of dollars. Grizzly has a minimum shipping charge of $8.95, IIRC. Since I needed the part, I was willing to pay the charge. The staff at the Grizzly near me were apologetic about the charge, but since it was corporate policy, there was nothing they could do. I had the choice of being upset and choosing to leave the tool un-repaired, or pay the fee.
When I had my own office, one of the major headaches was the constant requests for discounts. People I hadn't seen for 20 years wanted a "friend" discount. Others wanted a ministerial discount. (For the record, I did my minister and his family for free, but did not extend a discount to other members of the clergy.) Many people felt that I should absorb their deductible and whatever their insurance did not pay. In short, a significant percentage of people wanted a discount for one reason or another. Often people who have never run a for profit business do not seem to realize all of the expense that goes into the overhead of running a business. The "re-stock fairies" never showed up to replace the supplies I had used.
Another thing I finally learned is that 10% of your clientèle will cause 90% of your problems. If you refuse to kowtow to their demands and they choose to leave your business, that is very much to your advantage. No one can please everyone, and there are some that would not be pleased if the vendor delivered the purchase personally to their house. Let these folks bother some one else; you won't miss their business at all.
Everyone is watching expenses in our present economic climate. That said, since all of the members here have computers with Internet access, most of us have at least one lathe, and the vast majority of us are turning as a enjoyable hobby, carping and complaining about a dollar or two seems to be jousting with windmills, from my perspective.