No More Pain

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So sorry for your loss John, I know nothing we can say or do will fill the void you now feel. We will say prayers for your mom and you and your family, hopefully that will help a bit.
Len
 
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Sorry to hear about your loss John.

I have included a poem I posted for David (oldman5050) on his recent loss. I read the poem every time I think of my loved ones that have passed on and it gives me great comfort.

You can shed tears that she is gone 'Anon'

"You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."


Dave
 
Hawkdave said:
Sorry to hear about your loss John.

I have included a poem I posted for David (oldman5050) on his recent loss. I read the poem every time I think of my loved ones that have passed on and it gives me great comfort.

You can shed tears that she is gone 'Anon'

"You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."


Dave
Click to expand...


Hello Dave

Thank you for the thoughtful poem. The meaning and message rings out loud and clear. It will take me some time to relish in all the good times I had with my Mom even when my memory keeps reflecting back to the last couple of years and all the pain and suffering she went through. Our Family Chain has had another link broken off but I do know and believe one day that chain will be whole again. I will continue to pray that she has now found peace and rest with Our Lord.
 
jttheclockman said:
Hawkdave said:
Sorry to hear about your loss John.

I have included a poem I posted for David (oldman5050) on his recent loss. I read the poem every time I think of my loved ones that have passed on and it gives me great comfort.

You can shed tears that she is gone 'Anon'

"You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."


Dave
Click to expand...


Hello Dave

Thank you for the thoughtful poem. The meaning and message rings out loud and clear. It will take me some time to relish in all the good times I had with my Mom even when my memory keeps reflecting back to the last couple of years and all the pain and suffering she went through. Our Family Chain has had another link broken off but I do know and believe one day that chain will be whole again. I will continue to pray that she has now found peace and rest with Our Lord.
Click to expand...

You are welcome John.

I have also recently lost my Father and it was reading this poem that lessened the blow a little. I planted a memorial tree for my Mother and sit under it when-ever I think of her, now I need to plant a tree for my Father.
For my Brothers death some years ago, had me guessing, he was very clever with his hands and loved woodworking, So I have made a building for my Garden railway and named it after my brother 'Paul's Woodworks'

Dave.
 
Dave those are really great ideas to carry on the memories of your loved ones. When we lose people that are so near and dear to us it is just that much harder to move on. With each passing day the pain hopefully will turn into fond memories.

Today being Sunday was one of my days to be with Mom for 24 hours. We have been doing this for about 5 years now. Mom had someone with her 24 hours a day everyday while she was at home. I did take the bulk of shifts but did not mind it at all. Our highlight of the day always was watching hours of Lawrence Welk reruns which I had taped. We grew up watching these. She would clap for each performer and would know most by name and if they were still alive. It was one way we tried to keep her mind active as the onset of Dimentia reared its ugly head over the years. The clapping and the memory did start fading but the joy was still there. Will be some time before I watch those again because of the meaning which is a double edge sword. That is the part that is tough. Remembering the good times also triggers the anxiety of not being able to do it again.


It did take me some time when my Dad passed 10 years ago and I am sure the same will happen with Mom.

At some time I hope to return to my shop and become active once again. Between my health issues and now this there has not been a whole lot of desire. I do and will start to check the site out more so and hopefully watching all the great projects being created for the best time of the year on this site will help.

Again thanks.
 
John,
I am sorry for your loss. I don't really know how you feel but I want you to know that others care for you and are thinking about you.
I would like to share with you a couple of things that I felt when my mother passed away 9 years ago, in hopes that in some way it may help you.
My mother had a massive stroke and we were not able to say good bye. We had to remove her from life support.
The first thing we all noticed in the months that followed was the first reaction to pick up the phone or the thought "I have to tell Mom this..."
One other thing that is a constant reminder on Sunday is that our church had gone through a LONG rebuilding campaign. Largest church in town, worship center was to be the final phase and she passed away 2 weeks before the first worship service.
Also regarding Timing, I had not started making pens before she passed away. Long story, short, someone from our church sold me my first lathe and demo'd my first intro. My mother had absolutely beautiful cursive handwriting and I have always wished I could have given her my best pens, but as I write this I realize it was probably her gift to me.
I know a lot of people like to get busy in the shop when the load gets heavy, but I am like you. I shut down and can't quite get anything made. I still go out and look busy, but I can't go.
Last, even though I don't reach for the phone anymore, I always think of her when I have a big decision to make and MANY other reasons.

I would like to suggest that in Honor of Johns Mother today, if possible give your mother a call or better yet go spend some time with her.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner
 
jaeger said:
John,
I am sorry for your loss. I don't really know how you feel but I want you to know that others care for you and are thinking about you.
I would like to share with you a couple of things that I felt when my mother passed away 9 years ago, in hopes that in some way it may help you.
My mother had a massive stroke and we were not able to say good bye. We had to remove her from life support.
The first thing we all noticed in the months that followed was the first reaction to pick up the phone or the thought "I have to tell Mom this..."
One other thing that is a constant reminder on Sunday is that our church had gone through a LONG rebuilding campaign. Largest church in town, worship center was to be the final phase and she passed away 2 weeks before the first worship service.
Also regarding Timing, I had not started making pens before she passed away. Long story, short, someone from our church sold me my first lathe and demo'd my first intro. My mother had absolutely beautiful cursive handwriting and I have always wished I could have given her my best pens, but as I write this I realize it was probably her gift to me.
I know a lot of people like to get busy in the shop when the load gets heavy, but I am like you. I shut down and can't quite get anything made. I still go out and look busy, but I can't go.
Last, even though I don't reach for the phone anymore, I always think of her when I have a big decision to make and MANY other reasons.

I would like to suggest that in Honor of Johns Mother today, if possible give your mother a call or better yet go spend some time with her.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner
Click to expand...

Jaeger

Thank you for your thoughts. This brought a tear to my eyes and I had to walk away.

Cherish the ones you love and tell them so. One never knows.
 
jttheclockman said:
Dave those are really great ideas to carry on the memories of your loved ones. When we lose people that are so near and dear to us it is just that much harder to move on. With each passing day the pain hopefully will turn into fond memories.

Today being Sunday was one of my days to be with Mom for 24 hours. We have been doing this for about 5 years now. Mom had someone with her 24 hours a day everyday while she was at home. I did take the bulk of shifts but did not mind it at all. Our highlight of the day always was watching hours of Lawrence Welk reruns which I had taped. We grew up watching these. She would clap for each performer and would know most by name and if they were still alive. It was one way we tried to keep her mind active as the onset of Dimentia reared its ugly head over the years. The clapping and the memory did start fading but the joy was still there. Will be some time before I watch those again because of the meaning which is a double edge sword. That is the part that is tough. Remembering the good times also triggers the anxiety of not being able to do it again.


It did take me some time when my Dad passed 10 years ago and I am sure the same will happen with Mom.

At some time I hope to return to my shop and become active once again. Between my health issues and now this there has not been a whole lot of desire. I do and will start to check the site out more so and hopefully watching all the great projects being created for the best time of the year on this site will help.

Again thanks.
Click to expand...

I understand what you are going through John. That was a beautiful gesture by you, to be by your Mother's side helping where you could. What makes it even harder for you is, with dementure, it must have been harder for you as your Mother may not have recognised you or the rest of her family. Your Mother sounds like she was a very beautiful person.

I have seen some of your work on the forum and it is a level I hope to aspire to. I wish you a speedy come back as you go through your grieving.

My thoughts are with you all the way.

Incidentally, on special occasions for both my Mother & Father, i put flowers under the memorial tree for them both.
The cemetery is over 4 hours away and I find this helps me until I can do an annual visit.

Stay strong.

Dave.
 
I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who sent prayers and thoughts and even little stories that I enjoyed very much. It truly is comforting and as time goes on I am sure the hurt will diminish but the great moments I had with my Mom will always stick with me and for that I will be grateful.

Hopefully soon I will be able to get enough ambition to return to my shop. I did get some good news from my doctors that everything seems fine to return to normal. Within limits I can proceed to resume my life. Hopefully I can contribute to the site again.
 
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