Karl, want to start a club?

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J

Jarheaded

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2007
Messages
1,264
Location
Fairfield county, CT, USA.
I just got notice that I will be receiving my papers soon. I wasn't expecting this at all, I really thought this one was it for me. Third times the charm they say. I guess for me it is more like 3 strikes and I'm out. I am going to ship out whatever orders I have and am working on, and then my stuff will be moving so I will be down for a bit. Talk about getting stabbed in the back by someone you thought was your best friend. I knew i should have stayed single and just lived my own life without any commitments to anyone. Looks like I will get another chance at that at least. I was probably happier when I was alone and just plain old nasty to the world.
 
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Wait, you mean you're not nasty now? I'm all for the club, bro. Let me know when you're ready for a trip to AC for the inaugural meeting.

Seriously, though, I appreciate all the help and encouragement you've given me last month. I'm here for you, man - anything you need let me know, you have my number. Hang in there dude.

What the heck's going on? Is there something in this wood that makes us smell bad?
 
I am nowhere near the way I was when I first got out or even when I first met her. She had a way of calming me and soothing the beast inside. I guess I was just not being me enough. I should have let the beast be free and not try to be what I'm not. I retired from my beloved Corps so I could heal my body and spend more time with her. I am kicking myself for that mistake right now more than you could know. She just came into my officce to tell me she was taking the kids shopping and when she bent over to give me a kiss, my hand went instinctively around the grips. I feel like I am living with the enemy now even though we aren't fighting and it is all quiet. I gave up way too much to be with her. At least in the Corps I knew who the enemy was and who I could trust. I don't think I will be getting much sleep around here anymore.
 
Johnnie , I'm sorry for you , too . You & Karl are the greatest guys I've never met . If I can help in anyway , let me know . I've been unmarried for 22 years and lived alone for the last five years . I kinda like it . I wish both of you guys the best outcome .
 
JJ--First, thank you for serving! I worked for the VA for a number of years, figured since i could not fight, I could at least take care of the fighters.

Next--Hang in there. Take time to heal not just your body but your mind and soul. There are MH benefits out there for vets, don't be shy about using them. Or private sector if you prefer and can afford, check with what health plan you are on now, but for some, it has to be inpatient to kick in.

Finally, a few things, in no particular order. Remember your friends, here and elsewhere. Use us a props, sounding (off) boards, what ever. We know you do the same for us, and have done more. We don't mind, honestly. Next, chocolate is always a good drug of choice, in moderation! hydrotherapy in the form of long hot showers/soaks, swimming (laps or cannonballs or drifting down a river)or in a vessel on top or just sitting by some water a spacing out for a while all help. Remember, this too shall pass. and don't for get God. he's been there all along for you, whether you knew it or not. He's still there. If you can't figure out how to get in touch, I can help you, or someone else on the board, or where you live. We are more than willing to do so. Take some time to figure out who YOU are, now and what you want to be in the future. Remember, you have a plan going into battle, and you prepare accordingly. Life is no picnic for most of us--it's a battle. And keep us posted! I wish you all the best, and you will be in my prayers, and I suspect quite a few others as well.
 
Johnnie,sorry to hear about this happening to you.Been there done that.It stinks,but life goes on.Hindsight being 20/20,it was the best thing that ever happened to me.I am with Karl there is something in the wood or the resin.Don't know which one though.:DIf you need anything you know anyone on this forum would help in any way they could.

Ronald
 
I used to think that the secret to my marriage was hard work and compromise, but I'm beginning to think that the secret was marrying a devout Catholic.
 
Originally posted by Jarheaded

.... my hand went instinctively around the grips......
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Johnny,

Please, Don't let emotion overtake logic. I know your hurting but that pain will not last forever. I Pm'd you my number if you need someone to vent to. We were brothers in arms, therefore we are brothers. I'm only a phone call away if you need me.

Scott
 
Thanks everyone. Neil(Wolftat) showed up, did a quick collection of my arms and we went out for a while. I beat the hell out of a tree(it was dead and rotting anyways) and I am okay with this now. This will be my third divorce, so I am getting used to it. Instead of even trying to argue it, in this state the women gets everything, so I am going to take my personal belongings and move on. My shop will be moving to a warehouse and I will not stay alone anyways. I think I will wait until I am 80 to get married again, but I will have a new friend in a few weeks. I have always been a warrior and a survivor.
Scott, my hand went that way because I now think of her as the enemy, but there has been no blood drawn, so I did let go of it quick. I appreciate the offers.
 
Johnnie,

Sorry to hear about your divorce. The wife and I have come close over the past year but both of us decided counseling was better than divorce.

If I ever do wind up divorced, I'll not marry again.

Semper Fi!
 
Dammit, Johnnie... Sorry to hear that. It is such a shame that we now live in a society that values the commitment made to another person so low. They say that 50% of the marriages nowadays end in divorce. Knowing that, why would anyone want to do it? The religious connotations have long since been left behind for most, I'm afraid. It is apparently an institution that has outlived its usefulness. I'll certainly never do it again... Anyway, here's hoping you can get your head around it, hit the ground running, and never look back.
 
Talked to my lawyer today and I don't have to give up my house. I owned it before we were married and I had it paid off before we were even together. She has zero claim to it because the whole property was homesteaded by my father many years ago. Dad is still looking out for us. I think he is due for a new pen with a stand and maybe a new Lazy boy recliner too. Thank god someone was thinking.
 
Glad to hear you got some good news. I am very lucky to of married the right woman the second time around but I would never do it again.
 
That's a Silver Lining I was hoping for !
Originally posted by Jarheaded

Talked to my lawyer today and I don't have to give up my house. I owned it before we were married and I had it paid off before we were even together. She has zero claim to it because the whole property was homesteaded by my father many years ago. Dad is still looking out for us. I think he is due for a new pen with a stand and maybe a new Lazy boy recliner too. Thank god someone was thinking.
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Dear Karl & Johnnie, I am really sorry to hear you are going through this. Karl, you know how I feel. Johnnie, I can't believe that the woman gets everything in your state. IF you ever think of marrying again, move states! There are most likely other members going through similar things right now..........I was lucky, I had a friend serve my ex- with the divorce papers and he invited her to stay for supper.
Just trust in yourselves, know that it isn't about you, it's about choices somebody else is making that affect you greatly. Keep breathing, know that you do have people in your life who love you, and spend as much time with them as you can to keep getting back the validation of self that they provide.
 
Originally posted by rlharding

Dear Karl & Johnnie, I am really sorry to hear you are going through this. Karl, you know how I feel. Johnnie, I can't believe that the woman gets everything in your state. IF you ever think of marrying again, move states! There are most likely other members going through similar things right now..........I was lucky, I had a friend serve my ex- with the divorce papers and he invited her to stay for supper.
Just trust in yourselves, know that it isn't about you, it's about choices somebody else is making that affect you greatly. Keep breathing, know that you do have people in your life who love you, and spend as much time with them as you can to keep getting back the validation of self that they provide.
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Wow, Ruth. That is really nicely written. If it's okay with you, going to save that paragraph and read it to the graduate class on counseling skills that I'm teaching. Thank you!
 
It's all about finding one's harmonic balance . . . and, reaching a state of self-actualization. Read a little Maslow and the Dali Lama. You'll see what I'm talking about.
 
Not a problem Al.

I have had the worst of times, as we all do. The only way I have got through is by MAKING myself remember that I am loveable; that there are people in my life who care for me greatly - warts and all. Somtimes the only validation we get that we are great people is through our friends. When I believe what they say about me is when I feel strong enough to go on.
 
Originally posted by DocStram

It's all about finding one's harmonic balance . . .
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LOML finds mine for me... usually with a large bowl blank upside my head when I'm not looking. Produces a strange harmonic DOING that reverberates for a few seconds.[}:)];)

Not trying to make light of Johnnie or Karl's situation, I just couldn't help myself.
 
Originally posted by alamocdc

Originally posted by DocStram

It's all about finding one's harmonic balance . . .
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LOML finds mine for me... usually with a large bowl blank upside my head when I'm not looking. Produces a strange harmonic DOING that reverberates for a few seconds.[}:)];)

Not trying to make light of Johnnie or Karl's situation, I just couldn't help myself.
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C'mon, Billy. You know how much I despise humor. Stop making me smile, I'm working out my frown muscles, you know, pumping up, looking grim. Feel the burn. heh :D

"DOING"? Best I ever get is a good "PLOCK" or the occasional "DONK". Heard a "CLANK" once. That was weird. [:p]
 
NOTE: This post is not about Karl or Johnnie. I feel for them and hope they take no insult from what I am about to type. I am commenting on monkeynutz' post, not Johnnie and Karl's lives.
Originally posted by monkeynutz

Dammit, Johnnie... Sorry to hear that. It is such a shame that we now live in a society that values the commitment made to another person so low.
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Marriages are hard. They take loads of work every single day, even when things are going well. When problems are encountered they take ten times as much work, for both persons.

Sometimes, they have to end. Problems cannot be resolved and the only way for the people involved to be happy is to no longer be one. It's sad when that happens and we can only pray that those unions end amicably and that ongoing ties be respected (i.e. children).

While I am not for a moment taking a position on Johnnie or Karl's situations, sometimes, the person who walks away from their marriage is not the bad guy. Sometimes, they are the brave one who is making the hard decision.
Originally posted by monkeynutz
They say that 50% of the marriages nowadays end in divorce. Knowing that, why would anyone want to do it? The religious connotations have long since been left behind for most, I'm afraid. It is apparently an institution that has outlived its usefulness. I'll certainly never do it again... Anyway, here's hoping you can get your head around it, hit the ground running, and never look back.
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The simple answer is that humans are social animals. I think that most would agree that facing the future side-by-side with the person that you love is preferable to facing it alone. Those that disagree with this should never attempt marriage, in my opinion.
 
No offense taken here, Steve. Nobody can dispute that it takes a lot of work, but just like other forms of work, it may be fun, or it may be purgatory. And you can't work extra to make up for the work that your partner doesn't do. My complaint is about the culture we live in treating a marriage like they do a car (when you're tired of it, trade it in). Previous generations were raised to believe that marriage was for keeps, and was a commitment serious enough to think about before you entered into it. Nowadays, it's little more than a glorified "hook up". I just can't get used to how pedestrian it has become. Cynical? Maybe a little, but I paid my share of dues (and then some) to arrive at that conclusion.
 
I have to look at it this way. She chose to end it, I chose not to turn it into a fight.The hurt came and went as it usually does, and I am okay and back to business as usual(and some fishing). As I have said before, I am willing to help her get a new house, she has a good job and is fully capable of self support, and I am on my third divorce(and last). I don't want a fight or argument going on in my home and I don't want one going on here either. We all have our own opinions and our own beliefs, the chances of us all agreeing are about as good as stumbling into a field of DIW burls and having the truck with us to haul it back. So let agree to disagree about it and make sure that while you gentlemen are diagreeing about it, just don't marry each other please.:D
 
Originally posted by Jarheaded

...make sure that while you gentlemen are diagreeing about it, just don't marry each other please.:D
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Speaking of which...hey Johnnie, you're lookin' mighty cute in them jeans lately, boy! Do you like Pina Coladas?

hehe...wow, a new low for me! [:eek:)]:D
 
[/quote]

Speaking of which...hey Johnnie, you're lookin' mighty cute in them jeans lately, boy! Do you like Pina Coladas?

hehe...wow, a new low for me! [:eek:)]:D
[/quote]

Really! I would never drink Pina Coladas!;):D[}:)]
 
Karl, it seems that you just don't know me as well as you think, I don't drink and I won't let you try to get me drunk and take advantage of me either. I don't play that way. Plus listen to Jon, he must have figured out that when I did drink, it was JD and Bud, but some Wild Turkey was also there sometimes, and Makers Mark, and Gentleman Jack, and the list goes on. Now you see why I don't drink.
 
Originally posted by Jarheaded
I have to look at it this way. She chose to end it, I chose not to turn it into a fight.The hurt came and went as it usually does, and I am okay and back to business as usual(and some fishing). ...
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It must be nice not to have to ask somebody if you can go fishing.
 
I gave mine away ! I like this club ! What's it cost to get in ??? I have credentials . Three Decrees under my belt too ! You guys are really something ! :D
Originally posted by karlkuehn

Originally posted by Jarheaded

I was supposed to ask before????????:D
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LOL...

Yeah, that wasn't in the brochure I got, either. Dang.
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I makes me sad to hear you guys having trouble in the soul mate department. I think everyone has one but sometimes we get sidetracked by someone else and maybe ours gets away. I was lucky to have found mine at 38 and after 2 failed marriages. Good luck to you all.
 
The rules are simple. 1. Must be divorced, multiple times preferred. 2. Must not have killed ex on purpose. 3. Any gender is welcome, but there should be no fraternizing. 4. No charge, we have no expenses in this club. 5. Someone else can come up with this rule. 6. no bashing the ex on this forum if at all possible. 7. Try not to join this club if you can avoid it. More rules and regs. will follow as I, or someone else dreams them up. Monthly meeting will take place in our minds and all dues will be given directly to our attorneys. Everyone in favor say Aye. Aye! All against say nay. No nays, motion granted. Karl will be responsible for the drinks at the next meeting. Welcome to the club.:D
 
Agreed! (belated "Aye")

Allow me to take rule no. 5:

Being responsible for drinks may not be congruent with drinking responsibly, and no penalties shall be incurred for any combination of either, neither or both.

Who's passing out the fezzes?

:D[:p]
 
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