cigarman
Member
By now I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck
> jokes. Now here are
> some takes on how Southern folk look at their Northern
> cousins.
>
> YOU JUST MIGHT BE A "BLUE NECK" IF
> 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning," to cook
> outside."
> 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
> 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing
> "Worcestershire sauce"
> correctly.
> 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to
> grits.
> 5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
> 6. You've never had an RC cola.
> 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
> 8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
> 9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows
> you've seen are on
> road trips.
> 10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
> 11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a
> sweater on a poodle.
> 12. You don't have bangs.
> 13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard
> than Six Flags.
> 14. More than two generations of your family have been
> kicked out of the
> same prep school in Connecticut.
> 15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than
> grow up to get his
> own TV fishing show.
> 16. Instead of referring to two or more people as
> "y'all," you call them
> "you guys," even if both of them are women.
> 17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
> 18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a
> gun-n-knife show.
> 19. You think more money should go to important scientific
> research at your
> university than to pay the salary of the head football
> coach.
> 20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere
> around the house.
> 21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented
> someone from getting on
> an on-ramp to the highway.
> 22. You don't have any hats in your closet that
> advertise feed stores.
> 23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume
> counter at Neiman
> Marcus.
> 24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
> 25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling
> over to the side of
> the road and stopping.
> 26. You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.
> 27. You don't know what appliqué is.
> 28. You don't know anyone with at least two first
> names (i.e., Joe Bob,
> Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary
> Alice, et al).
> 29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly
> don't know how to make one.
> 30. You've never been to a craft show.
> 31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to
> you.
> 32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
> 33. None of your fur coats are homemade.
> jokes. Now here are
> some takes on how Southern folk look at their Northern
> cousins.
>
> YOU JUST MIGHT BE A "BLUE NECK" IF
> 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning," to cook
> outside."
> 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
> 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing
> "Worcestershire sauce"
> correctly.
> 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to
> grits.
> 5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
> 6. You've never had an RC cola.
> 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
> 8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
> 9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows
> you've seen are on
> road trips.
> 10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
> 11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a
> sweater on a poodle.
> 12. You don't have bangs.
> 13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard
> than Six Flags.
> 14. More than two generations of your family have been
> kicked out of the
> same prep school in Connecticut.
> 15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than
> grow up to get his
> own TV fishing show.
> 16. Instead of referring to two or more people as
> "y'all," you call them
> "you guys," even if both of them are women.
> 17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
> 18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a
> gun-n-knife show.
> 19. You think more money should go to important scientific
> research at your
> university than to pay the salary of the head football
> coach.
> 20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere
> around the house.
> 21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented
> someone from getting on
> an on-ramp to the highway.
> 22. You don't have any hats in your closet that
> advertise feed stores.
> 23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume
> counter at Neiman
> Marcus.
> 24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
> 25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling
> over to the side of
> the road and stopping.
> 26. You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.
> 27. You don't know what appliqué is.
> 28. You don't know anyone with at least two first
> names (i.e., Joe Bob,
> Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary
> Alice, et al).
> 29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly
> don't know how to make one.
> 30. You've never been to a craft show.
> 31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to
> you.
> 32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
> 33. None of your fur coats are homemade.
