We must put a stop to this

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Woodlvr

Woodlvr

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2006
Messages
3,086
Location
Midvale, Ut,
>
>THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
>
>We Must Stop This Immediately!
>Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper.
Groceries are
>heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday
I walked to the
>corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our
street had become!
>
>
>And, you know, people are less considerate now,
especially the young
>ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you
ask them to speak up
>they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly
mouthing the same silent
>message until they're red in the face! What do they
think I am, a lip
>reader?
>
>I also think they are much younger than I was at the
same age. On the
>other hand, people my own age are so much older than
I am. I ran into
>an old friend the other day and she has aged so much
that she didn't
>even recognize me.
>
>I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was
combing my hair this
>morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own
refection.........well,
>REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they
used to be!
>
>Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days!
You're risking life
>and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in
front of them. All I
>can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast,
the way I see them
>screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
>
>Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days.
Why else would
>they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as
18 or 20? Do they
>think no one notices?
>
>The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the
same prank. Do they
>think I actually "believe" the number I see on that
dial? HA! I would
>never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these
people think
>they're fooling?
>
>I'd like to call up someone in authority to report
what's going on --
>but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy
too: they've printed
>the phone books in such small type that no one could
ever find a number
>in there!
>
>All I can do is pass along this warning:
>WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
>Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon
everyone will have to
>suffer these awful indignities.
>
>PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE SO WE CAN
>GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
>
>PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size,
because something
>has happened to my computer's fonts - they are
smaller than they once
>were.
 
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Thanks Becca, now we are all coming out of the closet[}:)][:)]

Phil, It is my wifes dress size not mine, DUH, HEE_HEE[:D]

Mike!!
 
Mike, Thanks for bringing this to the surface, I have been having a sneaking suspicion that something was afoot myself lately. I have lived at the same place for 25 years and our drive is 860' long, I know because I've walked it hundreds of times.

Just last week I walked down to put the trash cans out and noticed that the trip back up the hill was at least 100' farther. I'm concerned that my property is shifting sonehow... AND, it's on the uphill side!

Now, after reading this, I'm starting to get scared! But I don't understand something... What does all this have to with you wearing your wifes dresses?[:0]
 
Not all of this is a bad thing. Since my yard has increased so much in size I think the property value has doubled and they haven't even revalued it for taxes. Since this big increase in yard size, I can hardly see or hear the traffic anymore.[8D]
 
I agree! Print quality has gotten so bad that most of it is unreadable! You'd think with all of the computerized printing that it would be much easier to read, but it is just the opposite. And another thing, wait... what was I talking about...
 
Mike, I've seen you in those dresses and think they compliment your figure. I picked the colors especially for your skin tone[}:)][;)][:D]
 
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