Things you wouldn't know..

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NewLondon88

NewLondon88

Local Chapter Leader
Joined
May 15, 2008
Messages
5,077
Location
Claremont NH
Things you would never know unless you were a PenTurner..

I was going to make a list of things you wouldn't know unless you turned
pens, but I figure it might be more fun to open it up to everyone to put in
their thoughts. Extra credit for sarcasm.
Here's a start..


1. Olive trees only grow in Bethlehem

2. There are 564 methods of applying a CA finish.
563 of them don't work. I use the other one.

3.
 
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6. There are a variety of accelerants available to make "instant glue" (CA) set up even quicker- with a schism in the penturning community over "pump" vs "Aerosol"

7.
 
7. CA burns the skin.

8. CA + Accelerator really burns the skin.

9. CA + debonder burns the skin again.
 
15 you learn how to hide the recipts of the last pen blanks or lathe parts from the wife or partner

16 you hide pen blanks in various places around the house just in case you need a fix

17....
 
17. The smell of curing PR goes really well with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon after about 15 minutes.

18. Catching a fingertip between the tommy bar and one of the dogs on a mini chuck removes a very neat 1/4 inch rectangle of skin!

19. Drill bits come in a huge variety of sizes, except for the one you really need at a particular moment.

19.5 If you do find the size you need, failure to replace it where easily located will guarantee you will need it again very shortly.

20. CA does not wash out of your good shirts.

20.5 This tends to annoy SHMBO

20.75 Saying "well, now i have another work shirt" is a bad idea.

21.
 
17. A $46 board purchased at the local woodcraft is worth $225 if you cut it into ¾" strips 5" long and sell them as pen blanks.

18. People in the Far East dream of owning imported exotic woods such as yellow pine or red oak.

19. A woodworker calls a fellow woodworker a woodworker. A turner calls them flat workers!

20. You can look at a vase and tell how many pen blanks were wasted

21.
 
(re-align nos :biggrin:)
30. Rotting wood is good...it is called spalted.

31. Spalted wood is a super fast CA accelerant :eek:

32. Best way to avoid problem with SWMBO is to "recruit' her to the insanity.

33.
 
CA sticks to your teeth

CA + paper towel + too much pressure on blank = wad of paper towel, smoking, stuck on your fingertip.
 
I am loving these. Too funny. Here is my attempt.

36. When you hear someone say Empty you think, "huh, I wonder if it is #1 or #2".

37. When you hear crotch, you think of where the branch meets the trunk... on a tree

38. You know how to de-prime a bullet from a gun you have never fired

39. You know where to find Acetone in the hardware store... faster than the employees.
 
33. $500 dollars for new carpet for the den seems like a needless expense, but $500 for a new lathe seems well within reason.
 
I thought there might be a couple of humorous replies, but
I haven't laughed this much in ages..

.. not that anything I read seemed true or anything..:tongue:
 
47. Antler dust and Mammoth Ivory dust really DO taste different, and neither is great!

48.

Scott.
 
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50. CA bottles glue should not be opened with your teeth, especially thin CA.

51. You measure deer antler in terms of, "That right there is one Jr. Gent, two slimlines, and maybe even a sierra."

52. You can only measure wood in 3/4" X 5 1/2" units.

53. Turn enough antler and eventually you can convince yourself that doesn't smell too bad, well maybe thats just me.

54.
 
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54. There are no mistakes, just "Design Opportunities"....

55. A Credit Card Pen WILL make the scanner at Wal-Mart go crazy...... :devil: Hehehehe!!!

56. ANYTHING can be turned into a Pen!!!

57.
 
54. You can always find your missing bushings the day after you buy new ones.

55. CA makes and excellent exfoliant. Especially on your right arm.

56. A wood's tendency to split is in direct proportion to it's cost.
 
59. Human Skin is the best CA Accelerant of all
60. 10 coats a CA = 3 coat on/3 coats off, 3 coats on, 2 coats off, 1 coat on, 1 coat on, 1 coat on...
61. You can't pour PR from the can cleanly
62. White pigment is the heaviest substance known to man
63. You always have the plating the customer wants, on the kit that they don't want
64. Fingers are not sufficient for holding the blank while drilling
65. You always remember you forgot to trim the blank as soon as you press the end cap on
66. There's no such thing as wood that's too green
67. The glue always dries quicker than the manufacturers recommendations
68. The glue always dries as quickly as the customer wants the pen
69. The glue never dries quick enough
70. No matter how long you wait for the glue to dry, something will still be sticky
71. Pen tubes comes with glue already on the inside, that's the only explanation....
72. You can never have too many blanks
73. You never have enough kits
74. Lathes were made for turning pens, all those bowls & spindles are just an added bonus
75.


Russell.
 
75. You can spend $1000 dollars on pen making equipment/supplies/books and not have turned a single pen yet......

76.
 
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