PenMan1
Member
I live in a very exclusive resort area. (Said smugly by the rich)" If you don't know where it is by my address, you'll never be invited here". The "mega rich" that live here don't really want others to know about this place, because it is their secret hideaway.
The people, Fortune 500 CEOs, American Presidents and Vice Presidents (Not Barack and AL Gore), high achievers, highly "visable" (NOT Nancy Pelosii-she'd NEVER be invited here) public officials, SELECT movie people, pro athletes, coaches, politicans and other very wealthy who summer here BUT don't really "summer" here, love us, mainly because of the privacy. They own mansions, but they don't really use them very much. We love them because they don't need or want special treatment and they SURE don't want the "public" to know that they are here.
They come down for a couple of weeks in April for the Masters and the other 2 or 3 significant pro golf tournaments around the Masters (Atlanta Classic, Harbor Towne, SC, etc) and then we don't see them again until fall. BUT, They buy REAL expensive toys! AND, they EXPLODE our economy (and taxes-- but that is another story). They want to be unrecognized and want to escape into the complete privacy and luxurious living that our area offers.
The reason is easy! Most of the year the weather and natural scenery is awesome, but from June until September, it is hotter here than the hinges on Hell's front door. WHEN OUR NORTHERN FRIENDS DON'T COME DOWN. IT DESTROYS OUR ECONOMY (visualize, if you can, rednecks LOOKING FORWARD to YANKEES coming down South, Again - That didn't work out too well the first time
)
But, The "regulars" are now letting their "key staff" use thier mansions for summer vacations. It is just like CADDYSHACK! WE NEED the TOURISTAS, but this is a laugh riot. One guy was out with a little scoop and jar digging up soil, because "his friends at home wouldn't believe the dirt here is red". Another taking snapshots of KUDZU (it's a damned weed that Round Up won't kill!) You should hear thier reactions to Stone Mountain!
They don't buy boats, and they don't buy yachts. But they do buy tubes, skis, kayaks, and HIDIOUS bathing suits with matching goofy shirts. Some buy personal watercrafts AND they do buy PENS, Lotsa PENS.
AND their bosses (caretakers) sorta, look out for them. I'm kinda a "go to" guy here, been here since God wore diapers, straight shooter... so the regulars call me with a "heads up" when they send their special visitors.
Yesterday, 106 degrees, 92 % humidity, winds 0-1mph, I had a guy from New Jersey tell me that he was Sicilian...therefore he didn't need sunscreen!
I informed him that I was a THOROBRED REDNECK, born near here, so bronze that my that my Italian heritage is questionable, work in this shi**t 14 hours a day AND I WEAR SUNSCREEN..... Fortunately, I called the local marina to "keep an eye out for my "Little Siclian Paycheck" (AFTER ALL HE IS MY CURRENT BREAD AND BUTTER!). They managed to GET him to the hospital with only a severe case of sunburn and moderate dehydration.
Today, I warned a "tourista" to "get his boating done before 6:30 PM". He politely informed me that I didn't know shinola from shinola. And that, according to the experts (I guess, that would be Natalie, from Cleveland , Ohio who writes part-time for the Chamber of Commerce WHILE LIVING IN CLEVELAND. OHIO... What can I say, she is someone's niece) that late afternoon and early evening was a "magical time" to boat in this area. I don't kinow about "magical", but it is a hellofa light show (made my Jack Russell hide under the bed)! It rained just over 3 inches in 45 minutes. Some old saying about a cow and a flat rock come to mind here.
Tonight, fortunately, another of my "Marina Angels" was able to drag "Cleveland's" soggy, lightinin struck boat in from the (not really "freak" thunderstoms- since they occur almost DAILY with greater regularity than Old Faithful) storm without any loss of life. The boat is toast, which is GOOD for business, and a "I told that moron that works for you" lecture to one of my faithful.
IF you ever get invited here, we'll take GOOD care of you, because you are important to someone who is important to us...BUT DAMNIT, LISTEN TO US......WEAR SUNCREEN...and buy a PEN!
The people, Fortune 500 CEOs, American Presidents and Vice Presidents (Not Barack and AL Gore), high achievers, highly "visable" (NOT Nancy Pelosii-she'd NEVER be invited here) public officials, SELECT movie people, pro athletes, coaches, politicans and other very wealthy who summer here BUT don't really "summer" here, love us, mainly because of the privacy. They own mansions, but they don't really use them very much. We love them because they don't need or want special treatment and they SURE don't want the "public" to know that they are here.
They come down for a couple of weeks in April for the Masters and the other 2 or 3 significant pro golf tournaments around the Masters (Atlanta Classic, Harbor Towne, SC, etc) and then we don't see them again until fall. BUT, They buy REAL expensive toys! AND, they EXPLODE our economy (and taxes-- but that is another story). They want to be unrecognized and want to escape into the complete privacy and luxurious living that our area offers.
The reason is easy! Most of the year the weather and natural scenery is awesome, but from June until September, it is hotter here than the hinges on Hell's front door. WHEN OUR NORTHERN FRIENDS DON'T COME DOWN. IT DESTROYS OUR ECONOMY (visualize, if you can, rednecks LOOKING FORWARD to YANKEES coming down South, Again - That didn't work out too well the first time
)But, The "regulars" are now letting their "key staff" use thier mansions for summer vacations. It is just like CADDYSHACK! WE NEED the TOURISTAS, but this is a laugh riot. One guy was out with a little scoop and jar digging up soil, because "his friends at home wouldn't believe the dirt here is red". Another taking snapshots of KUDZU (it's a damned weed that Round Up won't kill!) You should hear thier reactions to Stone Mountain!
They don't buy boats, and they don't buy yachts. But they do buy tubes, skis, kayaks, and HIDIOUS bathing suits with matching goofy shirts. Some buy personal watercrafts AND they do buy PENS, Lotsa PENS.
AND their bosses (caretakers) sorta, look out for them. I'm kinda a "go to" guy here, been here since God wore diapers, straight shooter... so the regulars call me with a "heads up" when they send their special visitors.
Yesterday, 106 degrees, 92 % humidity, winds 0-1mph, I had a guy from New Jersey tell me that he was Sicilian...therefore he didn't need sunscreen!
I informed him that I was a THOROBRED REDNECK, born near here, so bronze that my that my Italian heritage is questionable, work in this shi**t 14 hours a day AND I WEAR SUNSCREEN..... Fortunately, I called the local marina to "keep an eye out for my "Little Siclian Paycheck" (AFTER ALL HE IS MY CURRENT BREAD AND BUTTER!). They managed to GET him to the hospital with only a severe case of sunburn and moderate dehydration.
Today, I warned a "tourista" to "get his boating done before 6:30 PM". He politely informed me that I didn't know shinola from shinola. And that, according to the experts (I guess, that would be Natalie, from Cleveland , Ohio who writes part-time for the Chamber of Commerce WHILE LIVING IN CLEVELAND. OHIO... What can I say, she is someone's niece) that late afternoon and early evening was a "magical time" to boat in this area. I don't kinow about "magical", but it is a hellofa light show (made my Jack Russell hide under the bed)! It rained just over 3 inches in 45 minutes. Some old saying about a cow and a flat rock come to mind here.
Tonight, fortunately, another of my "Marina Angels" was able to drag "Cleveland's" soggy, lightinin struck boat in from the (not really "freak" thunderstoms- since they occur almost DAILY with greater regularity than Old Faithful) storm without any loss of life. The boat is toast, which is GOOD for business, and a "I told that moron that works for you" lecture to one of my faithful.
IF you ever get invited here, we'll take GOOD care of you, because you are important to someone who is important to us...BUT DAMNIT, LISTEN TO US......WEAR SUNCREEN...and buy a PEN!
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