Perfect Witness

[shawn394]

Perfect Witness



A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.

The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident.

The carpenter replied, "Twenty-seven feet, six and one-half inches."

"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the lawyer.

"Well, I knew sooner or later some idiot would ask me, so I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

 

[jwoodwright]

Sweet! Love Lawyer jokes...

 

[shawn394]

John I love Lawyer jokes also. I have several friends from high school that ended up a lawyers, so I love to poke at them. You might like this one also.

An engineer died and went to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks over his list and says, "Sorry, I know you've been a good man but you're not on my list so you have to go to Hell."
The engineer just shrugs and goes to Hell. First thing he notices when he gets to Hell; it's hot! Not just hot but damn hot!!. So, he air-conditions Hell.
After he does that, looks around and sees other things to make Hell more comfortable and gets to work.
Pretty soon God hears about this and gives a call to Satan.
"Hey Satan! Hear you got an engineer down there making things real comfortable."
Satan replies,"Yep, sure do."
God says," Well, send him up here. I have some improvements I want to make to heaven."
Satan says, "Nope, once they're mine, they're mine.'
God says, "I'll sue!!"
Satan says, "Where are you gonna get a lawyer?"