mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Email your nominations for the Best of the Trash Talk to:
iaptrashtalk@gmail.com
iaptrashtalk@gmail.com
Nominations: Trash Talking
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mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
[B]Post #59
Oh "BrianG" and your little prickly pen
It might hinder little girls but won't bother real men
To compare yours to mine, you must surely see
My pen is a 1 and yours maybe 3
You make a reference to Hockey, but I'm Canadian eh!
Pull up your panties and hear what I say !
Your tiny tickly attempt to slow peoples writing
It might get a 2 minute minor, but I get a suspension for fighting
You made an attempt at least that you can say
But my Articulated Knuckle Masher has beat you today
[/B]
Oh "BrianG" and your little prickly pen
It might hinder little girls but won't bother real men
To compare yours to mine, you must surely see
My pen is a 1 and yours maybe 3
You make a reference to Hockey, but I'm Canadian eh!
Pull up your panties and hear what I say !
Your tiny tickly attempt to slow peoples writing
It might get a 2 minute minor, but I get a suspension for fighting
You made an attempt at least that you can say
But my Articulated Knuckle Masher has beat you today
[/B]
Last edited:
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Post #58
These attempts at trash talk are tepid. They're more like debris drabble. In hockey, there's usually somebody, an agitator, to shake it up and get things rolling.
edohman, because you admit you lack hockey knowledge, here's an analogy you'll understand. You know that machine that latches onto the trunk of a tree and rattles it to within an inch of its life, causing the tree to drop its nuts and stand there nutless and embarrassed? A hockey agitator does the same thing to other hockey players.
We need an agitator. Here I am. I'm putting the BASH in IAP BASH!
Paper Wrench Hey, didn't you used to be a cattle prod? You sure look like one. Maybe you could moonlight as golf ball signer in the PGA tour. Good thing your maker pre-laid you on the sateen coffin liner in preparation of your slow death out of the running.
Little John You seem nice. Looks like your fletching was a little off and caused you to veer away from the Freestyle Pen Contest and you ended up in the wrong place. At least, according to your finial, you look excited to be here. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Pickaxe Pen In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine, dwelt a pick axe with some quick hacks and a nib to draw a line. Best get that nib capped lest you dry out on that parched patch of Bad Lands.
Magnum Sierra What happens when Magnum Sierra tips over? Not much. He just lets out a little wine. Your sommelier knows his stuff, but you look rotten to the core.
Bloomin Awkward Some poor leprechaun is missing his pipe! You claim you're a crotch section. I can see why. Thank you for pointing away.
Making Music I'd be more impressed if you were a Theremin; then you'd be the other one besides Dr. Sheldon Cooper's, which would make you second most difficult pen with which to write.
Brrrr You're from Minnesota. You'll never thaw. You're the perfect and easy to write with pen for ice-fishermen (a jerk on the end of a line waiting for a jerk on the other end) and every outdoor hockey mom and dad in the State, which means 80% of the Nordrigine population. The other 20% is either ice fishing, or not able to get from where they are to where they want to go.
PokeYouPine Power Pen. Congratulations on your inevitable victory! Your maker will save space for you on the shelf where he'll keep the first place prize of a box of blanks from hdbblue and Joyner Off-Set Jig. Just don't let the inevitable victory inflate your ego. Those 164 pins and brad nail will burst it in no time.
Push Pin Pen Horrors You belong in Minnesota, where Minnesota Nice is a slogan used in place of the real meaning, Minnesota Passive-Aggressive. You sort of want to be an evil and deadly pen, but your appearance belies your intent. Instead, you quietly sit until somebody wants something from you, and then you stick it to them with a vengeance. Kudos, you can be third.
Articulating Knuckle Masher You are not impregnated with needle sharp barbs. There is only ONE entrant that legitimately holds that claim. Stand down! You shall not pass! You might be popular in a certain trade to a certain population; let's just say it's with ladies that would whip you into shape.
The Big Guy Surely you were going for the "Awwwww For Cuuuuuute" vote by forcing the jammie-clad young man to maneuver you across the workbook pages. Why won't you think of the children? You'll cause that poor fellow eyestrain and a lifetime of poor penmanship, which is a curse of most of us. I'll bet you're stored next to the #14 aluminum scoop shovel that the poor young man is forced to use to eat his daily dollop of gruel before he's sent to scavenge the fence rows for pheasant feathers.
Catch and Hopefully Release You and Brrrr should hook up. Every ice fisherman would love having you stuck to their overdone fishing lure encrusted hat. 27 sharp points is less than 164, though. Only one other is more dangerous, and it's name is PokeYouPine Power Pen. You can be second, though.
Security Pen, Hey criminals, lookit this here nice chain with the garage door opener attached! Just jamb it under the door and watch it pop up! Use the bolt cutters and you got youself a dang fine chain and a stick for pokin' stuff to check for signs of life.
Any subsequent entries Forget it. You have no chance. You could be lazy and glue a nib on the bumper of a freight train, stab a slimline into the apex of a saguaro cactus (don't get arrested), tie an ink-fill to the rattle of a diamondback, or CA glue a Sierra to the leg of a chicken and you wouldn't make the cut. Give it up and stay out.
You have been officially agitated. Pick up your nuts before the squirrels grab them.
These attempts at trash talk are tepid. They're more like debris drabble. In hockey, there's usually somebody, an agitator, to shake it up and get things rolling.
edohman, because you admit you lack hockey knowledge, here's an analogy you'll understand. You know that machine that latches onto the trunk of a tree and rattles it to within an inch of its life, causing the tree to drop its nuts and stand there nutless and embarrassed? A hockey agitator does the same thing to other hockey players.
We need an agitator. Here I am. I'm putting the BASH in IAP BASH!
Paper Wrench Hey, didn't you used to be a cattle prod? You sure look like one. Maybe you could moonlight as golf ball signer in the PGA tour. Good thing your maker pre-laid you on the sateen coffin liner in preparation of your slow death out of the running.
Little John You seem nice. Looks like your fletching was a little off and caused you to veer away from the Freestyle Pen Contest and you ended up in the wrong place. At least, according to your finial, you look excited to be here. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Pickaxe Pen In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine, dwelt a pick axe with some quick hacks and a nib to draw a line. Best get that nib capped lest you dry out on that parched patch of Bad Lands.
Magnum Sierra What happens when Magnum Sierra tips over? Not much. He just lets out a little wine. Your sommelier knows his stuff, but you look rotten to the core.
Bloomin Awkward Some poor leprechaun is missing his pipe! You claim you're a crotch section. I can see why. Thank you for pointing away.
Making Music I'd be more impressed if you were a Theremin; then you'd be the other one besides Dr. Sheldon Cooper's, which would make you second most difficult pen with which to write.
Brrrr You're from Minnesota. You'll never thaw. You're the perfect and easy to write with pen for ice-fishermen (a jerk on the end of a line waiting for a jerk on the other end) and every outdoor hockey mom and dad in the State, which means 80% of the Nordrigine population. The other 20% is either ice fishing, or not able to get from where they are to where they want to go.
PokeYouPine Power Pen. Congratulations on your inevitable victory! Your maker will save space for you on the shelf where he'll keep the first place prize of a box of blanks from hdbblue and Joyner Off-Set Jig. Just don't let the inevitable victory inflate your ego. Those 164 pins and brad nail will burst it in no time.
Push Pin Pen Horrors You belong in Minnesota, where Minnesota Nice is a slogan used in place of the real meaning, Minnesota Passive-Aggressive. You sort of want to be an evil and deadly pen, but your appearance belies your intent. Instead, you quietly sit until somebody wants something from you, and then you stick it to them with a vengeance. Kudos, you can be third.
Articulating Knuckle Masher You are not impregnated with needle sharp barbs. There is only ONE entrant that legitimately holds that claim. Stand down! You shall not pass! You might be popular in a certain trade to a certain population; let's just say it's with ladies that would whip you into shape.
The Big Guy Surely you were going for the "Awwwww For Cuuuuuute" vote by forcing the jammie-clad young man to maneuver you across the workbook pages. Why won't you think of the children? You'll cause that poor fellow eyestrain and a lifetime of poor penmanship, which is a curse of most of us. I'll bet you're stored next to the #14 aluminum scoop shovel that the poor young man is forced to use to eat his daily dollop of gruel before he's sent to scavenge the fence rows for pheasant feathers.
Catch and Hopefully Release You and Brrrr should hook up. Every ice fisherman would love having you stuck to their overdone fishing lure encrusted hat. 27 sharp points is less than 164, though. Only one other is more dangerous, and it's name is PokeYouPine Power Pen. You can be second, though.
Security Pen, Hey criminals, lookit this here nice chain with the garage door opener attached! Just jamb it under the door and watch it pop up! Use the bolt cutters and you got youself a dang fine chain and a stick for pokin' stuff to check for signs of life.
Any subsequent entries Forget it. You have no chance. You could be lazy and glue a nib on the bumper of a freight train, stab a slimline into the apex of a saguaro cactus (don't get arrested), tie an ink-fill to the rattle of a diamondback, or CA glue a Sierra to the leg of a chicken and you wouldn't make the cut. Give it up and stay out.
You have been officially agitated. Pick up your nuts before the squirrels grab them.
Last edited:
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Post 36:
Quote:
Originally Posted by edohmann View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian G View Post
Businessman #1: "Pffft... Minnesota, nothing there but hockey players and hookers."
Businessman #2: "Hey! My wife is from Minnesota!"
Businessman #1: "What team did she play for?"
I don't get it
Now that's the best joke of the day.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by edohmann View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian G View Post
Businessman #1: "Pffft... Minnesota, nothing there but hockey players and hookers."
Businessman #2: "Hey! My wife is from Minnesota!"
Businessman #1: "What team did she play for?"
I don't get it
Now that's the best joke of the day.
__________________
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Ed, Ed, Ed. . . at best Articulated Knuckle Basher gets a 10 minute major and a game misconduct. My Bros. and I have been through worse.
Edgar, the guy that made that machine probably made it for those wimpy almond trees in California. Don't mess with Texas? I think it does fine messing itself and doesn't need my help. The other 50% of my house's residents considers St. Olaf a curse word; this is a Carleton house.
Edgar, the guy that made that machine probably made it for those wimpy almond trees in California. Don't mess with Texas? I think it does fine messing itself and doesn't need my help. The other 50% of my house's residents considers St. Olaf a curse word; this is a Carleton house.
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Last edited by a moderator:
mbroberg
IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Post 140
Hey, you sissy boys with those wimpy little pricky pens - if you think those little barbs make those pens difficult to write with, you've obviously never spent a summer working on a Texas ranch where our prickly pear cactus have thorns that make your pens look like highly polished acrylic blanks.
As for as the "spiney" thing & the fishhook thing, just pick them up with your wife's kitchen sponge if you're afraid of scratching yourself.
As for the one with that puny pin on the end - stick a wine cork on it!
And that one made from old bandsaw blades - hah! Anyone can plainly see those old blades are so dull, you couldn't scratch yourself with that thing if you tried.
Come on people - don't be fooled by these trash-talking hucksters, vote for a pen that you would really have difficulty writing with.
Hey, you sissy boys with those wimpy little pricky pens - if you think those little barbs make those pens difficult to write with, you've obviously never spent a summer working on a Texas ranch where our prickly pear cactus have thorns that make your pens look like highly polished acrylic blanks.
As for as the "spiney" thing & the fishhook thing, just pick them up with your wife's kitchen sponge if you're afraid of scratching yourself.
As for the one with that puny pin on the end - stick a wine cork on it!
And that one made from old bandsaw blades - hah! Anyone can plainly see those old blades are so dull, you couldn't scratch yourself with that thing if you tried.
Come on people - don't be fooled by these trash-talking hucksters, vote for a pen that you would really have difficulty writing with.
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