Humor/joke thread

[Modelmaker]

since I couldn't find the old joke thread (granted I didn't look too hard either) I thought I'd start a new one


For you Harley lovers


A 10 yr old boy was walking down the street wheen a big man on a black motorcycle pulled up beside him and said,"Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?"
"No!" said the boy and he kept walking. The biker pulled up to him again and said,"Hey kid, I'll give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"No!" said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The biker pulled up to the boy again and screamed,"Okay kid, I'll give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back and go for a ride."
At this point the boy turned around to the man on the bike and yelled angrily,"Look dad, YOU bought the honda, so you ride it!"

 

[Skye]

What do you call a Harley that doesn't leak oil?

Empty.

 

[alamocdc]

I love it!

 

[spitfire]

Q: Why are Harley's some of the safest bikes on the road?
A: You can't go fast enough to hurt yourself....

Q: A Harley owner and a NASCAR fan get in a fight, who wins?
A: We all do!

Q: What do you have when you put 10,000 Harley Davidson motorcycles on the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q- What is the most common accessory for Harleys'?
A- A pick-up truck.

Q-Why do they have all those Harley billboards along the highway?
A-So the owners will know how far it is to the next repair shop.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: If you leave them alone long enough, they'll both mark their territory.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks

 

[devowoodworking]

What does the H-D stand for in Harley-Davidson?
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Hundred Dollars, every time you go to buy a part/accessory that's how much it costs:biggrin:

 

[cozee]

This thread started off kinda slow but now we're a rollin'!!!!!

 

[wkuhn]

Seen on the back of a bikers tee shirt

If you can read this... THE BITCH FELL OFF!!!

 

[gketell]

"Why men get in trouble when talking to women"

 

[LostintheWoods]

Skye, Harleys don't leak oil--they merely mark their territory!
HONDA, YAMAHA, KAWASAKI, SUZUKI.......brought to you by the people who brought you Pearl Harbor.

 

[Modelmaker]

A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill
a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he
found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to
call the four in and ask them only one question. Their
answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room
table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you
know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your
head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now you
sir?', he asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't
know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I
know of.'

'Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye,
that's a very popular cliche for speed.' He then turned to
the third man, who was contem! plating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and
on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that
switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn
comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT
is the fastest thing I can think of'.

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed
of light,' he said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer
posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers
, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is
DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't
feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I
could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already ****
my pants.'

BUBBA is now the new greeter a! t a Wal -Mart near you!

You probably will think of this every time you enter a
Wal-Mart from now on!...

 

[Skye]

What is the most common accessory for Harleys'?

A pick-up truck.

 

[alamocdc]

:beat-up:I like the first joke better than the rest.

 

[alamocdc]

I have one.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

 

[thewishman]

I have one.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

You got me to laugh out loud! Nice one.

 

[Skye]

 

[rjwolfe3]

Better then China, methinks!