How to speak politically correct in this age

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Sep 24, 2006
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Location
Tellico Plains, Tennessee, USA.
I know we're not supposed to talk politics, but this is the new guidelines for political correctness... :biggrin::biggrin:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A** ' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

[FONT=&quot]'REAR CLEAVAGE.' [/FONT]
 
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.. and using the phrase 'cardio cranial rectalitis' sound so much nicer than

'his head is so far up his a$$ that his heart is beating it to death'
 
lol , but its offensive to me being from southwest va , 15 min fron ky , 40 min from tenn and about an hour fron wv ... , so am i still a HILLBILLIE ..... or a red neck ?
 
Depends if your neck is actually red or not. But by having to ask that question, you have definitely placed yourself in one category or the other. :)
 
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