Going to get cold tonight

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bitshird

bitshird

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Joined
Aug 27, 2007
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10,236
Location
Adamsville, TN, USA.
My future SIL has bugged me for nearly a year to make him a fountain pen, so being the kind hearted, warm, loving sweet guy I am, I made one a couple of weeks ago, a nice Trustone Dinosaur bone El Grande.
Well last night he came in with the pen stuck in his back pocket, Now I'm a no good dirty inglorius Bast@rd! I went up one side and back off the other, he'd taken my little girl, out to dinned and wore a T shirt so no shirt pockets, So now I'm in the dog house, My daughter just called up to invite "Mom over for dinner, but not me until I apologize to her Fiance".
It's getting colder around here, but it won't get that cold until the next Ice Age I hope. This buffoons retort was "well don't get so upset, it's just a pen" So I guess it me and the Red Baron tonight.
__________________
Ken Ferrell
 
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Hey Ken,

How about slapping together the cheapest fountain pen kit you can find with some nice red oak, wax finish and suggest to your "ingrate" that you will trade him. The first one you made for this one which IS, in fact, "Just a pen".

Maybe he won't notice the difference!!!!

Then you are out of the doghouse and he is out of an artistic pen!
 
Ken , welcome to the club ! I made pens for LOML two sons . They both sold there pens for cash to support certain habits . I don't care now . I just know , Idid my part . There will never be a replace pen for either of them . FWIW ! Sorry , this happened to you .
 
and I'll bet that pizza tastes just fine.

You should apologize? For what? That your daughter is engaged to a maroon?
 
So you and snoopy are in the dog house. I have been on my son's mother-in-law's chit list ever since they were married (12 or 14 years). Last week I threatened her by telling her to be careful or I would move in next to her.
 
My wife just assured me, that if this happens far in the future with our soon-to-be-born daughter, that she'll save me a roll.:biggrin:
 
Same reaction from my wife, She actually said if he is that disrespectful to a pen that was asked for and given to him out of compassion, what is he going to be like to the daughter later in life...
 
Isn't it great to see how your family will group togeather and gangup against you. Just wanted to let you know that your not alone. I'm a very responsable person, No mater what goes wrong around my housr, I'm responsible
 
Ken, I just read your post to my wife and daughter. my wife was a little wide eyed that anyone would be expecting an apology from you. She said that He should be apologizing to you for the way he treated you and your gift. This is someone that carries her special pen made by me around in a velvet bag and will not even let other people use it. Even my kids know that the pens I have made for them are not "Just another pen". My daughter said "I don't care if it is just a cheapy old slimline, It is not just a pen". She also say to have him go make one then tell you it is just a pen. In a nut shell she is now having her own rant over this. lol
 
The guy is a MORON...you can do nothing about it..if he treats your gift with disrespect, then he will treat the gift of your daughter the same way....as Dr. Phil says: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior I believe you posted that pen here on the forum..it was lovely & special
 
OK, I guess I get to play devil's advocate.
First off let me say that I agree the guy is a idiot, jerk, moron, buffoon, fill in the blank for how he treated the pen. Do you have the right to observe how he treats it and make a note to never give him anything of value in the future? Absolutely. Do you have the right to read him the riot act? No! Why? Because you GAVE it to him, not LOANED it. Once you give something away it is now that persons right to treat it as they please, if he wants to treat it as of no value and abuse it that's his right. Yes, I know you made it, but it is still his now, all you can do is make note of it for future gifts. Yes, I would be pissed to see someone treat one of my pens that way, but I would also keep my trap shut.

Now, for the sake of seeing your future grandkids go make nice to the jerk.:smile-big:
 
Dale, I like your comment and even had a thought or to myself belong the lines of consider who you give your gifts to more carefully. But I do not completely agree with you. Treating the pen with a lack of respect is much like a slap in the face to Ken. When Ken recognized that slap he immediately reacted to it. not days or weeks later. For me it is an issue of, you will not treat me in such a way. and that is what this is about. I call into questions Ken's wife if she in fact left him home alone to go to dinner with the kids. she in effect is saying it is okay to disregard my husband, his skills, his effort and his attempt at developing a relationship with the jerk. Suppose the shoe had been on her foot and the cake she has spent all afternoon baking got left in the hot car to melt and dry out. when she got upset someone said, don't get so bent it was only a cake. I also call into question the daughter that can stand by and allow anyone to disrespect her father. and that is what this is really all about. Respect. I don't think I would have a problem telling the son in law, Fine if the pen means that little to you then I want it back, I'll pick you up a bic next time I am at wall mart. He obviouly does not deserve a pen like Ken gave him and everything it means.
 
I would almost agree with Dale, except that it took a year of cajoling before
the pen was made. (perhaps someone didn't really want to make it?) SO with
that in mind, I wouldn't consider the pen a gift, but more of an unpaid
commissioned piece.

It's one thing to treat an unsolicited gift with casual disregard.
It's quite another to harass someone into giving you a gift ,and
then be so blatantly disrespectful.

That's my $.02 .. you need change?
 
Ken, it is tough - but I had to think through and adopt the Dear Abby advice -

Once you give something as a gift, you can no longer retain any ownership in it. It belongs to someone else to handle, keep, pass on, use, abuse. Your choices become future ones.

You should also remember that "Clyde the Clod" is likely to be associated with future grandchildren, and that is an investment worth much much more that a pen. You do not want to be held at length with grandbabys in the future.

You have made you point - Crow does taste a lot like duck, and you have some to eat.

(Been there and worked through that)
 
To many people are to easily ready to say, let it go. That is a problem in the country today, we accept shotty customer service, we accept disrespect all around and are unwilling to stand up and say enough.

Yes it was a gift, a gift that was asked for, someone might say begged for. I Know if I ask my wife for something, and beg for it even. When I get that gift, it is to be cherished, not lightly taken for granted, I expressed sentiment for it by repeatedly asking for it. To casually throw it aside with no concern for her feelings would be a complete show of disrespect. Remember it was not just given, or bought, it was asked for.

This moron, who is dating his daughter, asked for then received something special, then tossed it aside and said lighten up its just a pen.

What does that say for his char? Not much. To allow this type of behavior to go unchecked, to to allow it to grow. (see our society now)

I applaud him for going off on him. Now that that is done, I would never apologize for the act itself, but would sit the lad down and explain why I was so upset and let him know that that he is sitting next to the most precious gift I have ever given anyone and I will not tolerate disrespect towards anyone in this family again.

Maybe then he will see the err of his ways and come around. HE needs to be the one apologizing here.
 
You Should appoligise and say.
I am sorry I treated you like that, I obviously have some major issues and take this pen stuff way too seriously. Be very sincere. All while your busting a nut by laughing inside knowing your giving him a new appology pen made out if petrified dog S&it.
 
I showed this to my wife and she had to agree with what a moron the boyfriend was. Her response was the wife is crazy if she accepts the dinner invitation. She would not want to go anywhere I was not welcome, not even to our daughters house. Maybe Ken might not should have gotten so irate but that's probably what I would have done if someone had been bugging me for one for a year and had no more respect for me or my work than that.
 
I am sorry that your feelings were hurt by this unthinking young man. It is obvious that he is immature and doesn't understand the quality of your gift. Since you gave it to him for whatever reason-his begging etc. it is now his. I would let his actions speak for himself. I would tell him, your wife and your daughter why you reacted the way you did, and then I would let go of the anger since it will only do you harm and he is obviously too immature to understand or care.
I think the behavior of your spouse and your daughter are also immature and disrespectful of you and your gift. Hope there is some resolution that will take care of you.
 
I recently made a pen for a friend. The first person he showed it to loved it and he let them have it. The nex day he told me that he needed another pen,and i asked what happend to your other one and he told me. At that time I told him he would have to pay full price for the next one that way he would have a little more respect for my time and cost for the kit. He still doesn't have the pen. I guess that is kind of the same disrespect of your fountian pen.
 
Wow.... Kinda messy.
IMHO, your daughter needs to grow up. Her Fiance, needs to grow up as well and have some consideration for the gift you gave him...

I hope your wife doesn't go to dinner w/o you.

But.... A gift is not yours to control anymore. This should be a great big "Note to Self" moment for you.

In the greater picture, is this really worth the trouble down the road? Pick your battles and which hill you are willing to die on.

Lead by example and be the bigger Man. He needs to know what one is.

Yes, his actions show a lack of charactor and possibly the way he treats many things. And you may have to go "up one side and back off the other" if he treats your daughter with disrespect some day, so save it up.
 
.. not to hijack the thread, but this is just a note to all the thoughtful people
who wrote to me to let me know what an ignoranimus I am for misspelling the
word 'moron' ..

I thought it was obvious, and someone else got it. But it wasn't a mistake, it
was deliberate. I was quoting Bugs Bunny.
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/nsvdjzkfdz--What-a-maroonBugs-Bunny-Looney-Tunes-usmc-

I do make plenty of mistakes, that just didn't happen to be one of them.
 
Damn Charlie,
I would be one of those. I am older than you so I could have turned the TV on so you could have watched Bugs. How come I didn't know that? Guess I should have spent more time at your house. Did you have an older sister by say 10 years?
 
DennisM said:
To many people are to easily ready to say, let it go. That is a problem in the country today, we accept shotty customer service, we accept disrespect all around and are unwilling to stand up and say enough.

Yes it was a gift, a gift that was asked for, someone might say begged for. I Know if I ask my wife for something, and beg for it even. When I get that gift, it is to be cherished, not lightly taken for granted, I expressed sentiment for it by repeatedly asking for it. To casually throw it aside with no concern for her feelings would be a complete show of disrespect. Remember it was not just given, or bought, it was asked for.

This moron, who is dating his daughter, asked for then received something special, then tossed it aside and said lighten up its just a pen.

What does that say for his char? Not much. To allow this type of behavior to go unchecked, to to allow it to grow. (see our society now)

I applaud him for going off on him. Now that that is done, I would never apologize for the act itself, but would sit the lad down and explain why I was so upset and let him know that that he is sitting next to the most precious gift I have ever given anyone and I will not tolerate disrespect towards anyone in this family again.

Maybe then he will see the err of his ways and come around. HE needs to be the one apologizing here.
Click to expand...

Spoken like a true, well-trained husband! :cool:
 
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