"Controlling" conversation

[ed4copies]

IF you introduce a topic for conversation in the "real" world, do you then have the ability to CONTROL what others say???

Probably not.


If you post a topic here for "discussion", why do you feel you should be able to control who says what????

There are rules about personal attacks which seldom seem to need to be used - much to the credit of this community.

When other members make statements with which you disagree, you may CERTAINLY debate, argue, make your point, whatever!!!

Just because I STARTED this thread, I don't expect to DICTATE what can be SAID. So, if you start a topic, be prepared for differing points of view. OR, usually, stating that you are not looking for opposing opinions will work too - again that speaks to the COURTESY of our little community, since such a statement has no BINDING authority. We are all adults - we all have equal opportunity to type our entries. I BELIEVE we do so pretty well. RESPECTING each other and each other's opinions.

Even when we DON'T all AGREE on a topic.

ALL viewpoints are WELCOME to respond.

 

[pipeyeti]

I agree, I will also add that if you think that a post has gone south sometimes its best to just sit back and let it die.

 

[rdunn12]

Ummm did I miss something?Sounds like something rubbed you the wrong way.I do agree with your statements Ed.

 

[mick]

Ed, I agree......as long as it's ok with you
Seriously I think some folks post a thread and EXPECT everyone to agree with them. When this doesn't happen they get their knickers in a knot. Just as you say in, the real world everyone isn't going to agree with what we say or think, so why should we .......as adults.......expect everyone to agree with us here as this is, as I see it, a cross section of the "real world".

 

[Aderhammer]

Some people get upset when people start to get off topic to the original question. Such as has anyone use this tool and what did they think of it, and everyone denounces the tool and never answered the original question, HAVE YOU USED IT?

 

[Ron in Drums PA]

Did you ever sit around a kitchen table with a bunch of friends?
Did you ever notice how the conversation shifts from one topic to another?

Or how about differing opinions, don't they get debated too? That's what friends do.

Now imagine sitting around that same table with a group of people and one person controls what can be said. How long would you hang around?

 

[LEAP]

Somehow I can't forsee anyone controlling our intrepid trio ( Ed, Doc and Cav) in any conversation. You guys have sent more threads off the beaten track than the rest of us put together and I've enjoyed almost every one.

 

[wdcav1952]

Originally posted by LEAP

Somehow I can't forsee anyone controlling our intrepid trio ( Ed, Doc and Cav) in any conversation. You guys have sent more threads off the beaten track than the rest of us put together and I've enjoyed almost every one.

Stop trying to control me by subliminal cues, Phil!!

Ed, much as I hate to admit you make an excellent point. We all need to take a deep breath before posting when things get a bit hot, discussion-wise.

 

[alamocdc]

Originally posted by wdcav1952

Originally posted by LEAP

Somehow I can't forsee anyone controlling our intrepid trio ( Ed, Doc and Cav) in any conversation. You guys have sent more threads off the beaten track than the rest of us put together and I've enjoyed almost every one.

Stop trying to control me by subliminal cues, Phil!!

Ed, much as I hate to admit you make an excellent point. We all need to take a deep breath before posting when things get a bit hot, discussion-wise.

Heheheh, I'm just glad he left ME out of it.

And you're dead on, Ron! Hhmm, to hear me and two of my very good friends talk, you'd think we were bitter enemies at times. But we KNOW each other and ignore, tolerate, whatever, each other's idiocies.[^]

 

[rjwolfe3]

One must keep in mind though, that in the real world some would not have the "courage" to say some of the things I have seen written in the short time I have been part of this forum. It's so easy to flame someone from behind your computer screen but I highly doubt that some of you would have the guts to say these things to another person's face, friend or not. There's an expression I like from Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace."

It reminds me of the prison where I work. We have what's called an "open yard" where during any given day we might have 2500+ convicted felons wandering about with only 5 officers to control them. For the most part, the inmates allow us to control them and our days go smoothly. When they do something stupid like fighting or what not, we lock them up in a segregation unit. Once they are behind that closed door they become very "brave" and say and do things that they would never do out on the yard because there are cameras and they know we can't do anything to them.

To bring this back to this forum, I personally try not to say anything to anyone that I would never say to their face. In the short time that I have been here I have been personally hurt by some people here (and no, I don't name names) Only one has ever apologized to me and I respect that person immensely for it.

To further illustrate my point, another hobby I enjoy is playing World of Warcraft (an online role playing game). I have seen all sorts of weird things people say and do in the three years I have been playing. However if someone says or does something to you in the game, you can put that person on what's called an "ignore list" meaning whatever that person says to you, you won't see anymore.

Unfortunately real life and this forum do not have an ignore button. While I whole heartedly agree that everyone has a right to voice their own opinion, not everyone has a right to make fun of, personally attack, or anything like that just to express that opinion. In the real world you might get hurt physically if you said the wrong thing to someone at the wrong time.

This topic is about controlling a discussion and I apologize to ed4copies if I went off topic with this but this has been burning in me for awhile and I felt the need to say something, if only for my own mental health. Again everyone has a right to their opinion both good and bad, but can we just keep the personal stuff out of it.

Thanks for allowing me to "vent" and have a nice day!

(Warning personal opinion only! May cause "panties to be in a wad" if I may "borrow" an expression: Some of you are twice my age, yet act half my age. I only hope that as I grow older, that I will develop more wisdom, knowledge, and patience and be more willing to impart that to people younger then me.)

 

[DocStram]

Originally posted by LEAP

Somehow I can't forsee anyone controlling our intrepid trio ( Ed, Doc and Cav) in any conversation. You guys have sent more threads off the beaten track than the rest of us put together and I've enjoyed almost every one.

I agree with 66% of what you're saying, Phil. Ed and Cav are always taking us down a twisted path. As for me, I'm a stay on topic kind of guy. BTW Ed ..... how's the car running? [:0]

 

[DocStram]

Originally posted by rjwolfe3

In the short time that I have been here I have been personally hurt by some people here (and no, I don't name names) Only one has ever apologized to me and I respect that person immensely for it.

(Warning personal opinion only! May cause "panties to be in a wad" if I may "borrow" an expression: Some of you are twice my age, yet act half my age. I only hope that as I grow older, that I will develop more wisdom, knowledge, and patience and be more willing to impart that to people younger then me.)

On a serious note, Rob brings up a point that is troubling. IAP shouldn't be a place where people feel "personally hurt". We shouldn't let this happen, whether someone is a new member or an old one. I don't think it's just up to the mods to stop this kind of behavior. We all have a seat at the table . . . and we should all protect each other's right to dignity. I worry about members whom we have lost because they felt "personally hurt".

 

[LEAP]

Not to lessen anyones feelings about personal affronts or even perceived slights but I don't let what my family and close friends say hurt me unless it is is something that is a cold deliberate attack. I'm certianly not going to let someone on an internet forum get under my skin. Things said thoughtlessly or during a heated conversation need to be taken in stride. We all get excited at times and may not think through what we say before we say it. That seems especially true in electronic communications. Which is kind of counter intuitive as when we type we always have the option of proofreading before hitting that send or submit button. Perhaps if a little effort was used to hit the Preview Reply button prior to posting in a controversial thread or any thread for that matter we could avoid most of the misunderstandings that end up as hurt feelings. I really do believe that most of the injuries to pride or feelings are just that a "misunderstanding" of one or both parties. Folks this is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, Why waste the energy getting your hackles up because some one does not necessarily agree with your point of view. It would be a very boring world if we all agreed on everything.

 

[Chasper]

In this case am I welcome to respond if I do agree?

In my every day world I deal with a flurry of daily crisis from irrational changes in consumer wants and expectations, fueding co-workers, cut-throat competitors, bothersome regulations, cost esclations, etc. I can't control most of those situations and I can't control what others think, I sure can't control what the ecclectic group of colorful characters who frequent this site thinks about anything.

This wouldn't be any fun if we all agreed on everything. No danger of that.

Forgive us our flames and forgive those who flame us.

 

[Nolan]

Originally posted by Chasper


In my every day world I deal with a flurry of daily crisis from irrational changes in consumer wants and expectations, fueding co-workers, cut-throat competitors, bothersome regulations, cost esclations, etc.

Do you have a truss plant???

 

[Rojo22]

Cav.....The address for the blanks are.....<subliminal pulses start here>.....Doc the Pacific Yew should be sent to <subliminal pulses start here>.......Ed the cats need to be sent to....<subliminal pulses start here>......

So does Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Creme have better donuts?

 

[Daniel]

For me the number one peeve is when someone asks "How do you do ....."? and someone just has to ask "Why would you want to do that"?. As for anyone getting up in arms that others do not take there opinion as the "Right one", That is simple egotism. contemplate Lou's signature it might wear on you. I'm pretty sure most of you know what they say about opinions so I won't repeat it here. It is true that most of them stink including mine though.

 

[Blind_Squirrel]

Originally posted by LEAP

Not to lessen anyones feelings about personal affronts or even perceived slights but I don't let what my family and close friends say hurt me unless it is is something that is a cold deliberate attack. I'm certianly not going to let someone on an internet forum get under my skin. Things said thoughtlessly or during a heated conversation need to be taken in stride. We all get excited at times and may not think through what we say before we say it. That seems especially true in electronic communications. Which is kind of counter intuitive as when we type we always have the option of proofreading before hitting that send or submit button. Perhaps if a little effort was used to hit the Preview Reply button prior to posting in a controversial thread or any thread for that matter we could avoid most of the misunderstandings that end up as hurt feelings. I really do believe that most of the injuries to pride or feelings are just that a "misunderstanding" of one or both parties. Folks this is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, Why waste the energy getting your hackles up because some one does not necessarily agree with your point of view. It would be a very boring world if we all agreed on everything.

Ditto.

 

[GoodTurns]

Originally posted by Rojo22
So does Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Creme have better donuts?

Depends...are they fresh or is it the end of the day? Hot Krispy Creme's are a gift to mankind, however, DD's hold up pretty well if you NEED a donut at 10 or 11 at night

This thread reminds me of something I tell my kid...Those who look for insults or offense will find it everywhere! This is a great group of people here, with a ton to offer, relax and enjoy it!

 

[ed4copies]

MY PERSONAL OPINION: (With which you are FREE to disagree!!)

The internet serves a purpose of exposing us to views of people from around the world. I have said numerous times, "You can't throw a stone and hit me" from your computer screen to mine. So, I cannot be physically damaged.

Not all of us are given the same ability to construct a sentence. When I read, MY intonation is put on YOUR words. You cannot control that, but it may not be what you meant to say, at all. So, instead of being offended, try writing a PM to the "offender". Private conversation can probably clear it up and the "bravado" we "need" to show in public is eliminated.

Just a Thought ---

Oh, and I believe moderators should be unnecessary. As adults, we should be "moderate" without the help of others. The internet "anonimity" can be tempered -- think of the people from the site whom you MIGHT meet in person. Do you want to be judged "a jerk" BEFORE you even say "hello"???

Thanks to all who respond, even if you disagree with me.

You have EVERY RIGHT to be wrong!!!

 

[LEAP]

"You can't throw a stone and hit me"

That got me chuckling, I can just picture some bone head with a brick sticking out of his monitor

 

[dfurlano]

Originally posted by ed4copies
"You can't throw a stone and hit me" from your computer screen to mine. So, I cannot be physically damaged.

So your reputation, identity, livelihood, friendships, safety or business cannot be "physically damaged" over the internet by people you have never met?

I read about these activities happening every day.

 

[ed4copies]

Dan,

I have spent 35 years doing business in the same "town". A few local people, as well as a couple banks, the IRS and the state dept of Revenue have all thrown stones at me, at one time or another.

I've dealt with them, in turn.

I don't believe anyone here poses that kind of threat.

I am not a cyberspace expert, however. So, if you feel threatened - minimize your chances of "creating" an enemy by being eminently understanding, attempting to avoid confrontation. (At least this is MY philosophy)

This is one case where I certainly agree YOUR mileage MAY vary!!!

 

[Rojo22]

Just remember folks, you are unique....just like everyone else...

YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED....<you know who you are>....

 

[Ozzy]

Here's my two cents worth. A while back we had a discussion about gun control and it stayed civil. That is a subject that quiet often gets out of hand in a hurry but in spite of some vastly different opinions, we kept it civil.

On the other hand, I have seen some simple things get blown way out of proportion. When that happens, I have been a part of some of those conversations; I have found it best to let it go.

We are all different and different things affect us in different ways. For instance, I have zero tolerance for bad drivers and people who do not use common courtesy in public.

 

[mdburn_em]

Originally posted by ed4copies

MY PERSONAL OPINION: (With which you are FREE to disagree!!)


Just a Thought ---

Oh, and I believe moderators should be unnecessary. As adults, we should be "moderate" without the help of others...

In a perfect world...

We should also not need policemen, lawyers, armies etc.

In the real world we live in, we do need those and we will always need moderators too.


Also, if I had "posted" everything I have written on this forum, my count would probably be twice as high but the IAP would not have been any the better for it. Probably worse.

Sometimes writing something and then closing your browser window is much better than hitting the "post new reply" button.

 

[ed4copies]

Originally posted by mdburn_em

Originally posted by ed4copies

MY PERSONAL OPINION: (With which you are FREE to disagree!!)


Just a Thought ---

Oh, and I believe moderators should be unnecessary. As adults, we should be "moderate" without the help of others...

In a perfect world...

We should also not need policemen, lawyers, armies etc.

In the real world we live in, we do need those and we will always need moderators too.


Also, if I had "posted" everything I have written on this forum, my count would probably be twice as high but the IAP would not have been any the better for it. Probably worse.

Sometimes writing something and then closing your browser window is much better than hitting the "post new reply" button.

HOORAY!!!

I believe this is a symptom of "self-moderating"!!!

Hope it's contagious!