25 reasons i owe my mother

[brokenbit]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I've just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA...
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE..
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

 

[traderdon55]

You just described my mother. There must be some kind of mother manual because I heard exactly the same thing growing up.

 

[Longfellow]

Sounds like my mother, then I married her clone and, raised two of her clones. The apple never falls far from the tree.

 

[PTownSubbie]

LOL!! I had to laugh about several of those. I haven't heard them before

I was an angel....:devil:

 

[tim self]

Oh how many times I heard that from Mom and both Grandma's!!!!! And how many times the kids were told those things. So far the grandkids haven't lived up to my expectations. LOL

 

[ldb2000]

You forgot "Patience"
"You just wait till your Father gets home"
and "More Logic"
"When you fall out of that tree and break your neck , don't come crying to me"
and "Recreation/Medical Science"
"You'll go blind if you don't stop doing that"
This one got me in trouble more then once "Giving"
"There are millions of starving children in the world who would love to have that piece of liver"
To which I replied "Well , here you can send them mine" ..... SMACK!!!

 

[wudnhed]

LOL, me and my Mom resemble these remarks!!!!!!!!!

 

[bitshird]

I think we must be brothers, my Mom told me those very same things, But now I'm having the time of my life watching my youngest son, 28 raise a cute little boy that I think is the reincarnation of Damien, it so reminds me of the "Just wait, you'll have kids some day" around Grandma and I he's not too bad, but he is everything I hoped his daddy would get